The home side welcomed back Oakley McInnery and the “legend” Kieron Purver (his words, not mine). The veteran Trevor Mellor, also played his first game for the 4s.

Skipper Jason Moorhouse, won his first toss of the season, so the prematch team talk was short and sweet, go and play. The team responded by dominating the majority of the game. The first half saw several chances fall to Henry Staples, Noah Rollason, Harrison Moorhouse and the captain, but none were converted. Finally a neat through ball from Danny Griffiths (although it may have been Harrison), found Kieron P, who amazingly didn’t kick the ball, but passed the ball into the corner of the goal.

The defensive line of McInerry, Luke Hughes, Andy Bourke, Kieran Osmond and Rich Mellor, were rarely troubled by the slow Stevenage forward line, only a Ryan BA clearance gave the visits hope, but they failed to capitalise on the situation. HT arrived 1-0 to the good, but could have easily been 4 up.

The second half, the home side were even more dominant but again failed to finish off their array of chances. Umpires Chris Hopson and Josh Chapman, enjoyed playing the advantage as much as they could to keep the game flowing, to thrill the crowd. The Stevenage centre forward, tried to take on speedster Bourkey in a footrace, but got a stitch and collapsed to the floor after 2 yards, screaming for the umpires to show a yellow card for foul play, much to the amusement of everyone.

This seemed to rally the home side, to finish the game off, which they did as Henry Staples, found Trevor Mellor, who finished coolly. Shortly after, mis of the season arrived, as Purver found himself stick on ball in front of an empty goal, only for him to drag his shot 5 yards wide.

Kieran Osmond decided to headbutt the ball in midfield, with assistance from Rich Mellor, just to try and give the home team something to do.

Late in the game, Josh Chapman, had enough of the Stevenage defence appealing, so showed a green card, which became a yellow before the player left the field of play.

FT 2-0 clean sheet for Ryan BA, and a McDonalds treat from the skipper (still waiting I believe)
MOM Henry Staples and Trevor Mellor
DOD was a close vote, Kieron Purver taking it 12-1

Ladies 3s vs Stevenage 2 - 5-1 loss
Goal scorer: Jane
Assist: Yas
Player: Sharon
Donkey: Cerys

Apologises if this match report is not up to our usual standards but usual match reporter Tors was away this weekend so Donkey had to write it this week. So in short...

We came, we played, we came second – but we gave it everything!

Fixy smashed in a great goal after a lovely assist from Yas, and the whole team kept the pressure high up all game.

Donkey went to Cerys for appealing a very blatant short corner instead of taking the shot – still not sure what was going through her head there!

Player of the Match went to Sharon for rock-solid defending and crunching tackles, clearly showing off Em’s coaching tips from Wednesday.

Everyone put in a huge shift, and honestly the scoreline didn’t reflect how well we played as a team.

Special shoutouts: to the opposition player who accidentally wiped out Grace K and to the one who called Tara “Tori” for the full 90 minutes!

Massive thanks to Rachel, Lisa, Gem, and Kev for the sideline support – much appreciated.

Bring on Bishop's Stortford next week - we are looking for subs if people are interested!

Mens 1s vs Cambridge City 1 - 4-3 loss
Goal scorers: Toby x2, Charlie
Assists: Sam G & Sam W
Player: Elliot
Donkey: Henry

Broxbourne staged a spirited late comeback but ultimately came up just short, falling 4–3 to Cambridge City in a fast-paced and hard-fought contest.

Cambridge started strongly, racing into a 2–0 lead as Broxbourne struggled to find their rhythm early on. Charlie gave the visitors a lifeline midway through the first half, finishing smartly to reduce the deficit to 2–1.

However, Cambridge regained control and extended their lead to 4–1 with two quick goals, capitalising on turning up the pressure and playing with a D that was double the size of the normal one.

With the game seemingly out of reach, Broxbourne showed real character. Toby sparked hope with a well-taken goal to make it 4–2, before grabbing a second late on to set up a tense finish. Despite a flurry of chances in the closing minutes, including two missed sitters from Sam Groves, Broxbourne couldn’t find the equaliser.

It was a frustrating result, but a performance full of fight and attacking threat – particularly in the final stages – offers plenty of positives for Broxbourne moving forward.

Ladies 2s vs Braintree 1 - 2-0 loss
Player: Darcy
Donkey: Willsy

Fantasy fixing and posh cars, no wait, buggies

It was an exciting Saturday for the ladies 2's as they returned to the home of Badgers for their first home match of the season. Preparations begun early with captain Wilkinson spotted in the stands at men's training, the story is she was spying on short corner routines for the team but everyone saw Vic and Emily R grilling her for details on the new man Badgers!

Short corner practice went well, coach Meg inspired the new team members with Lesley and Rachel fully included. However there was some scandal with the new routines when a 'rogue' ball caused disarray in the D.

Saturday arrived and despite Wilkinson's best efforts to get Hannah to play, she rather rudely decided her holiday was more important. The team were waiting patiently in the changing room for team manager Millie, where could she be. Gossip expert Lisa Banahan reported that she was spotted in the local buggy dealership hoping to secure a Lamborghini buggy for the future baby badger. However she was spotted trying and failing to erect her managers stand, something she really need to work on if she is to keep her management role.

The game started with the Badgers looking on top, the midfielders of Box, Grace R, Gemma G and Darcey were on fire, they worked hard to win the ball back and play the ball into the forward line of Gemma W, Willsy and Isobel. The badgers managed to maintain possession and came close with a number of chances. Despite their best efforts the badgers were unable to capitalise and unfortunately a breakaway goal saw Braintree take the lead.

The defensive unit of Emily R (on a high after spending most of her prematch prep time checking out Cambridge City number 6), Baz, Evie, Sue and Georgia stayed on top for the remainder of the first half, transferring the ball calmly around the back and feeding the ball up the pitch.

At this point there was a massive wave of disbelief from the 200 strong crowd. Cat is here, she said she couldn't play, I have taken other off of my fantasy team, even this morning it was confirmed she couldn't make it, yet here she is striding onto the pitch looking ready for action. It turns out only one player kept Cat in their team, guess who that could be! Cat herself, rumour has it that angry by the dominance of the fantasy league by the Wilkinson family, she decided to try cheat her way to the top, you will be pleased to hear that her plan failed and she has only managed to claw her way up to 48th in the league, with even Al and Lisa above her.

Braintree manged to sneak another goal in the second half and Broxbourne were left frustrated with a 2-0 loss despite a positive performance. Player went to Darcy, who not only inspired on the pitch but off of it too, special mention to Evie for a great debut. And Donkey went to Willsy for faking a head injury to get sympathy from the supporters, don't worry it was only a bruise.

Next week the ladies travel to Stortford where their game is suspiciously straight after the men's 1's, Vic and Emily were first to make themselves available!

Ladies 4s vs Blueharts 5 - 2-1 win
Goal scorers: Meg & Kirsty
Assists: Lisa & Jo
Player: Meg H
Donkey: Aaliyah & Jas

The Women’s 4s celebrated their first win of the season with a brilliant 2–1 victory, showing discipline, creativity, and plenty of determination across the pitch.

Donkey of the Day
Awarded to Aaliyah and Jaz for their very serious debate about how many players are actually on a hockey pitch – and which side was the right one!
Special mention also to Kev the umpire, who heroically tried to stop the ball going off… but missed it.

Player of the Match
Meg – despite only just returning to hockey, she’s already playing like she’s been at it forever. A fantastic return with strong runs, great link-up play with Jo, and a well-taken goal.

Other Mentions
• Alice for driving the ball up the pitch and linking with teammates to keep the play moving forward.
• Jo for controlling the centre and leading the W press, keeping everyone structured on the angle.
• Kirsty, Sarah, and our GK for their solid contributions throughout.

Match Highlights
The W press was a real strength, forcing errors and allowing us to attack with intent. The opening goal came in the first half after Jo’s determined run through the middle, setting up Kirsty, who provided a smart assist for the finish.

In the second half, Meg was on hand again — this time converting from a rebound after another strong attack, showing great awareness and composure in front of goal. Blue Hearts managed one back at the start of the half, but we stayed composed, defended well, and saw the game out confidently.

We created a lot of chances, with plenty of shots on target, and our short corners are steadily improving. Em was brilliant from the sidelines, coaching us, keeping spirits high, and giving valuable advice at half time.

Off the Pitch
Pre-match, the squad took on some fun before the game so keep an eye on the broxbourneladies4s instagram page to see what happened.

Away Fixtures

Ladies 5s vs Blueharts 6 - 6-1 loss
Goal scorer: Tess
Assist: Maisie
Player: Sharon

An early start for the ladies 5s this week, away at Blueharts for a 9:45 pushback. Two ends of the spectrum for arrivals, keeper +2 an hour and five minutes early whereas our centre mid, Tess, decided to go to our home changing rooms instead of the away ones for the meet time! For the first 10 minutes it was a very defensive game with Blue Harts on the attack managing to score at the 6-minute mark from a player who looked very useful and an early warning flag! With Tess now joining us Broxbourne upped their game with improved passing (still room for improvement). Some nice play up the wing from Imogen passing to Milly who took the ball to the backline and crossed into the D to Maisie who set up Tess with a straight strike from the top of the D making it 1-1. We held the draw for 15 minutes with great distribution by Teagan and Tess and some good runs by Mia, Katie, and Shannon up the right wing. But then disappointingly Blue Harts scored 2 in quick succession. A good team talk at half time with some great input from the team, bar the missing sweets. Ready to get back on the pitch and score some more goals! However Blueharts continued to pass and communicate well. Despite some great saves from our super substitute GK Sharon and solid defensive work from Lorraine, Mumma B, Annie Q and Fran, Blueharts managed to secure 3 more goals all from the very useful player! We had some more shots on goal but all saved by their keeper. Overall, the team played well, the communication was better, a couple of things to work on again in training until we’re ready to go again next week, 10:00 at home against Letchworth.

Player vote was a draw between Tess and Sharon but as we know from last season our King of Fantasy doesn’t like draws so the captain gave it to Sharon for taking one for the team and going in goal. Annie Q “I’m new to hockey”, in only her 4th league match, was only 1 vote behind so well done to these 3.
There was a lot of different votes for Donkey with no one coming out deserving carrots!

Ladies 1s vs Bishop's Stortford 1 - 1-0 win
Goal scorer: Meg S
Assist: Tor
Player: Lily
Donkey: Ellie
Cards: Em (green)

A Magical Away Day

Broxbourne 1’s travelled to our home away from home at Bishop’s Stortford, where “local rivals” might just be the understatement of the century and can be closely compared to a quidditch match between Gryffindor vs Slytherin.

With newly assigned team jobs, Lydia House proved her organisational sorcery by ensuring everyone was in the right place at the right time… all while sunning herself on a lounger in Rhodes, eyes closed. The House family are rumoured to make their holiday bookings Saturday to Saturday purely so other players get a shot at pitch time. True Gryffindor behaviour.

Thanks to Lydia’s remote magic, all players arrived early, in full kit, and with time to spare. This window allowed Em Wilkins to summon a surprise PScycle class – a pre–warm-up warm-up. The session was a hit, but word has it she’ll be charging galleons for entry next week, so book early to avoid disappointment.

Just before the whistle, our new coach materialised in full Broxbourne merch – finally committing to the pink & blue life.

The warm-up itself was documented by Warner Bros Studios, as the team embraced their new casting roles for the upcoming Harry Potter series. Highlights included
• Em Wilkins as Kreacher
• Martha Kerr as Hagrid
• Charlotte Skipp as Ron Weasley

Meanwhile, fierce competition is underway for the title role of Harry Potter.

When the match began, Broxbourne cast their spells early, dominating play. It was Meg S, determined to claim the Harry role, who struck first – unleashing a reverse stick thunderbolt straight into the net, assisted by Tor Stacey, now officially doubling up as Fred & George Weasley. Mischief managed.

Our forward line (N. Wheadon, E. Welsh, V. Boulton, C. HG & M. Saywell) pressed high and turned the ball over in Stortford’s 25 like seasoned seekers. The midfield (L. Luka, K. Tart, E. Wilkins, M. Kerr) and defensive line (B. Scarrott, H. CJ, T. Stacey & C. Skipp - Ollie Skipp’s sister) kept everything neat as parchment, with Lily Hawthorne pulling off spellbinding saves to deny Stortford any chance of a reply.

Final score: Broxbourne 1–0 Stortford. The win sends us 2nd in the table – for now, at least.

Player of the Match: Lily – for some unreal, Patronus-worthy saves.
Donkey of the Day: Ellie – for being the first to shatter one of the season’s sacred goals.

The new series is set to premiere in late 2026. Stay tuned. The magic has only just begun.

Mens 3s vs Harpenden 2 - 1-0 win
Goal scorer: Wyatt
Assist: AJ
Cards: Elliot (green)
Player: Wyatt

After a loss last week, despite a good all-round performance, the M3s were away again this week for another late lunchtime pushback travelling to Harpenden, apparently famous for the world's oldest agricultural laboratory.

Not that any of the team were slightly interested in that fact, they were more concerned about who had the brightest pink kit. Hugh's socks won, by the way.

The M3s got off to a strong start, consistently moving the ball beyond the Harpenden defence and dealing with any attacking threat they offered. However, it soon became very clear that the biggest frustration was going to be the brick wall of a goalkeeper that Harpenden had deployed. The first half finished 0-0 and the halftime discussion was centred around what types of shots might be more effective in the second half.

The second half was one-way traffic, with wave after wave of Broxbourne attacks. Scott "opta" Weedon revealing that the M3s had 98% possession and 145 short corners to Harpenden's 1.

It was probably not completely accurate but a fair reflection on how well the team was playing. Although some loose short corner routines were not helping in the bid to score that elusive goal.

Cometh the hour cometh the man. Well, it was the 58th minute, to be precise. AJ played a direct ball into the D that saw Wyatt make a run across the keeper and turn the ball into the back of the net.

It remained 1-0 until the end, despite a nervy last 5 minutes, with a couple of wayward passes and a slightly misdirected kick by yours truly.

A great performance from the team and their first win in the higher division following promotion last year. Wyatt deservedly MOM but an honoury mention to AJ who put in an "aerial" performance.

Also, a mention for Hugh and Sam, playing their first season for the M3s.

Mens 5s vs Saffron Walden 8 Dev - 3-0 loss
Player: Bourkey
Donkey: Fresh

No match report.

Mens 2s vs Stevenage 1 - 9-2 loss
Goal scorers: Bobby & Harrison
Assists: Jack x2
Player: Jack
Donkey: Lance

Below par Brox Baffled By Stevenage

The day started with an inspiring speech by Mr Price about taking responsibility, sticking to principles and working together. Spirits were high and we started at a good tempo matching stevenage in the middle creating chances and winning shorts. A couple of strong saves kept the scores level in the early stages….

Then it happened the magic man lance took a nasty blow that sent him packing for the day, its safe to say its wasn’t a pleasant watch… we continue to fight but stevenage forward got a deflection on a cross that snuck past stapes. The second came shortly after with a nicely worked short corner routine. We continued to battled and we went into half time feeling hopeful we could get back into the match. This was not the case the cracks were appearing as we were losing every 50/50 and the ability to stop the ball pass and to be frank play hockey became difficult. Yes im being polite. We started to puff and they started to dance around us in some situations show boating and laughing at the battered badgers. Highlights from the second half was two well made goals put away by bobby and Harrison. And a superb save by stapes from a short, but it ended 9-2 and a day to forget for brox. Time to rebuild refocus and tbh take accountability for our individual performances. We move on and we move forward.

Coming up next weekend

Saturday 4th October

Home Fixtures
10am - Ladies 5s vs Letchworth 5
12pm - Mens 2s vs Bishop's Stortford 2
2pm - Ladies 1s vs Dereham 1

Away Fixtures
12pm - Mens 4s vs Harpenden 4
1pm - Ladies 4s vs Letchworth 4
1pm - Mens 3s vs Bishop's Stortford 3
2pm - Ladies 3s vs Bishop's Stortford 5
3pm - Mens 1s vs Bishop's Stortford 1
3.30pm - Mens 5s vs Bishop's Stortford 7 Dev
4.30pm - Ladies 2s vs Bishop's Stortford 2

Tuesday 7th October

Home Fixtures
8.30pm - Mens 1s vs Cambridge Uni 1