Badgers take a Wapping

Fortress Badger Den hosted Wapping on Saturday, resulting in a 1-0 win for the badgers. Victory comes at a cost, however, with stalwart midfielder Kay Finch coming out of the fixture with a broken collar bone. This is a considerable blow to the Badgers’ promotion effort, who have relied on “GB Badger’s “ dogged defense on the left hand side, and uncompromising wearing of GB kit to intimidate the opposition.
Coach Matt Mc Donnell was unavailable for the fixture, due to an audition to play Billy Elliot in the upcoming tour. World Renowned actor Zach Galafianikis stepped up to perform coaching duties for the relieved Badgers. His experience in a recent Hollywood blockbuster came to the aid of suffering centre midfielder Alice Brown, resulting in the “ Brown Nutmeg “ taking centre stage at Badger Field. Brown has been forced to drink a cheaper brand of wine due to splashing out on an exorbitant stuffed animal in Cornwall during the summer.
The fixture sees a notable return to form of Pip Evans to the defensive line-up. Her ninja like takes on the reverse wowed the above average attendance at Badger Field, enough to earn her MVP as voted by the Badgers. The drought of Badger Badges continues for fiesty defender Becky Scarrot, only denied the honour by a last minute tie-break vote. Scarrot shares her hockey interest with her photography hobby, and arrived late to the fixture, coming straight from taking some quality snaps at a car wash between Ware and Hoddesdon.
The Badgers took their first and only score with minutes to go in the second half. Emily “Burglar Badger" Wilkins stole the decider with a 360° turn followed by a cracking strike into the left corner. Wapping piled on the pressure in the dying minutes before half time, only to be denied by the speed of first runner Captain Laura Wills in defensive short corners.
Half time was filled with controversy with a streaker arriving on Badger Field, protesting the number of Haribo provided to supporters at half time. Allegations that the streaker was related to striker Gemma Wilkinson were quashed in the post match interview with Wilkinson, who denied to comment on an adjustable belt and the identity of the person who dressed the streaker that morning.
The second half saw Wapping dominate the possession stats but Broxbourne defended multiple short corners under the brilliant instruction of keeper Freya Green. The Badgers survived a nervy last 4 minutes, with multiple clearances by Evans, Cattermole and Scarrot being crucial to deny the equaliser. Stacey in particular displayed her legendary “step “ multiple times. The defender has found a new lease of life this season following the announcement of a sequel to Top Gun being released in the near future.
The Badgers enjoyed celebrating their victory with loyal supporter Sam “hockey is my religion" Gates who inspired them on the sideline. The Badgers have not lost a fixture in the presence of this avid supporter and are starting to think of him as a good luck charm. Celebrations continued in the tea room courtesy of Cat “baker Badger” Cattermole providing 3 flavours of birthday cake for Molten Brown sponsored defender Lisa Banahan. Banahan declined to comment on a rift with sponsors following a shower gel theft accusation by the opposition.
The Badgers go West to West Herts next Saturday , defending their 4th place in the league table.