The Wall strikes to shut down St Albans in dying seconds

By Lisa Banahan

Broxbourne were keen to return to winning ways at home after last week’s defeat away to Harleston, and were relieved to see super supporter Sam Gates back on the sideline. The hosts were unfortunately without Right Back Tor Stacey who is working with the England rugby squad this weekend ahead of their 6 nations tie against Ireland next Saturday. Stacey’s explosive tackling technique had been spotted by Eddie Jones earlier in the season, and Stacey has been drafted in to toughen the squad up in preparation for the crunch game. Stacey has refused to comment on whether her signature head butt has also been utilised by Jones’ coaching team, but suspicions grew when the defender was spotted in A and E in Welwyn last Wednesday with yet another head injury. Striker Kerri Marshall has backed up her team mate, stating that she works in Welwyn on a Wednesday only and was positive Stacey had not been in the vicinity.

Coach Matt McDonnell focussed on improving the finer details of the Badgers’ pre match routine ahead of the home tie, hiring Gemma “Spinmaster" Wilkinson to assemble a motivational playlist for the team. Wilkinson has long been considered by McDonnell as one of the coolest members of the squad following an outstanding dance performance in Pop World before Christmas, second only to Defender Lisa Banahan who frequently attends gigs in Hackney. Unfortunately Wilkinson’s playlist never surfaced as the veteran had provided a mix tape that could not be played on Banahan’s Bluetooth speaker. The farcical tape blunder was a major embarrassment to the Broxbourne club president who had invited some prominent members of the Spurs team to the hospitality tent to observe the Badgers upbeat warm-up, with the footballers hoping to replicate it in their Sunday game against Crystal Palace. Charlotte Skipp will take over next week as music director, as Wilkinson has been sent home to watch a VHS on the capabilities of Bluetooth. Wilkinson's husband has come under fire over the incident, stating his wife's technological capabilities were “despicable “.

It was a poor start for the Badgers, conceding an early short corner which was deflected beautifully in to her own net by left back Lisa Banahan. However, the Badgers were energised in their attempts to make up the deficit and started to penetrate the St Albans D more frequently. Gemma Wilkinson was on form as ever in her role as primary short corner winner, and stick blocked her way beautifully into an obstruction from the St Albans defense. The drag out from Kay Finch landed on the stick of Emily Wilkins who played a cracking ball to the far post and Finch finished what she had started drawing the home side level. Finch has no shame in making her strong pro Europe feelings known, and has insisted on taking on a different European identity each home game. This week it was the turn of France , with the player turning up with a non regulation beret on her head, only to be prevented from entering the stadium by kit sponsors. However, holding a baguette while running out of the tunnel (purchased by her agent Steve in Sainsburys just prior to push back )adequately got her political views across prior to a crucial week in Brexit negotiations. Finch is rumoured to be targeting Luxembourg as her next publicity stunt at home in 2 weeks time.

Half time saw Matt McDonnell action a change to the Broxbourne press to relieve pressure through the centre of the pitch. The second half became a physical and charged affair with both defences sustaining periods of pressure. The Badgers successfully kept out 3 short corners with Freya Green making a number of crucial saves.

Becky Scarrott found Kerri Marshall on the right wing a number of times from a 16, leading to Broxbourne’s best chance of the second half. Marshall played the ball to Emily Wilkins who found Alice Brown in the centre. Brown slid a pass to Lucy “Bob" Hoskins who was well positioned on the post, but the ball took a deflection from a defender onto the strikers’ foot. Brown appeared on edge for the entire game, as the current whereabouts of her taxidermy badger are unknown following the trip to Harleston last Saturday, scuppering her plans to sell it on eBay at the end of the season. Although the players’ financial situation had appeared to improve recently, the Broxbourne management team have raised suspicions that this is linked to the player being recently given the fines money to mind during the week. Captain Laura Wills has denied any knowledge that an investigation into a curry payment at Mangoes is currently on going, but Brown remains in the media spotlight regardless.

St. Albans then retaliated to put one of their forward line through, her strike to the top right corner leaving Freya Green with no chance. With 5 minutes on the clock the Badgers stepped up the intensity, with Emily Wilkins being pushed into the forward line to try nick a last minute equaliser. The dynamic midfielder was put through by an excellent ball out of defence from captain Laura Wills, only to be taken down in a controversial tackle, but the decision went against the Badgers. Wilkins found herself isolated up front and surrounded by irate defenders who looked ready to pounce, but luckily Kerri “Rocky “ Marshall used her pace to come to the rescue and get between the defenders and the cowering Wilkins. Marshall , although diminutive in stature, never shies away from a tussle and cites her lack of electricity resulting in cold showers when growing up as the making of her tough exterior. Wilkins was appreciative of Marshall’s efforts in the post match press conference, although tensions remain high between the players following a sparkling water explosion incident at Marshall's recent housewarming.

Charlotte Skipp's skills and pace entering the St Albans’ D was finally rewarded by a short corner as the final whistle blew. Broxbourne had one last nail biting opportunity to level, the score and Pip “The Wall" Evans’ deflection from a Becky Scarrott disguise sweep found the backboard to set the stadium at Badger Field alight.

Broxbourne travel to Wapping next Saturday looking to secure 3 crucial points. They currently lie in 2nd as a tight top of the league battle continues, with 5 teams still in the mix.