“When you win the warm up, you win the game”

By Media Team (Alice Brown & Lisa Banahan)

The Badger Field opened its doors for another home game this week against Canterbury 2nd XI, where both teams were looking for a crucial three points to edge out of the relegation zone. After taking inspiration from the Baby Badgers, the Broxbourne team set about an intense week of training which primarily focused on perfecting the warm up. Warm up queen, Kerri-with-an-I-Marshall, was in her element throughout, but rumours continue to circle that she is transitioning back to her football career after committing to only using her feet during Tuesday’s session.

In addition to practising the warm up, the Badgers were also striving to improve their preparation after the PR team of Charlotte Skipp and Lucy Hoskins came under fire this week for excessive tardiness to the pre-match press conference. Laura Wills appointed the ginger duo in September to restore trust with the ginger community, with rumours of lack of equality of fines based on hair colour rife in the press. Skipp, known for her colourful language, has reacted aggressively to the increased media attention, with Sam Marchant receiving an earful on Thursday following the non-recognition of a stick tackle on the striker. Marchant later commented that he would have blown the whistle if he been able to find it in his extra-large mittens. Skipp's comments that they looked "more like oven gloves " to her only further fuelled the fire.

Further tension arose after captain Laura Wills and boyfriend slash self-appointed media dictator Will Fradley slamming the recent Badgercast, for tenuous links to hockey and general boringness. The story broke early Thursday morning, with Fradley making throw away comments to an undercover reporter at an undisclosed Hertford public house on Wednesday evening, regarding the last quarter devoted to crime being a "shambles". Creative directors Alice Brown and Lisa Banahan make no secret of their on-going feud with Fradley, following Brown's decision earlier this week to file a plagiarism suit against her boss for allegedly tampering with her match report published in the Hertfordshire Mercury last week. Fradley has claimed that the standard of work provided by Brown was sufficiently lacking in match details to warrant the changes, but this has further angered the recently unemployed midfielder, who refuses to comment on whether her spontaneous verbal attack on Fradley on the Badgercast was alcohol fuelled. It has been a difficult few weeks for Fradley who has missed the last three games for the Mens 1st's due to a hamstring injury. His presence has been sorely missed at centre back, with the team recording their longest winning streak in 15 years.

The media director partnership of Banahan and Brown have been subject to further criticism this week from Midfielder Kay Finch, who's recent reveal all autobiography entitled "A Pinch of Finch" has suggested a "fear culture" in the Badgers set up of the charismatic duo, known for targeting personal attacks via their numerous media channels. Finch also questioned their commitment to training following a major communication blunder by Banahan, who thought that the Badgers would gain two extra players for every goal conceded to Bedford, which turns out was only a rule introduced by Sam Marchant at training last Tuesday.

As game day dawned, half back Charlie Mills took inspiration for her pre-match preparation from the Rugby World Cup, applying significant amounts of sun cream to replicate her Ta Moko to intimidate her opponents. Charlie’s presence in the team has reinforced the ginger to non-ginger ratio, with the defender referencing a potential tribute tour for Geri Halliwell later in 2020. In other entertainment news, this Saturday also saw the return of Meg (1) Boxall, who was omitted from previous game day squads while auditioning for Mamma Mia. The forward was papped practising her audition at Pop World; however, West End casting agents have confirmed they were looking for “less Meg 3 and more Meryl Streep” after rejecting the left winger.

Despite a high volume of pre-match dramas, the Badgers reunited to perform their new and improved warm up for the crowd, who awaited with baited breath as the pink and blues demonstrated their dominance in running, passing, and receiving. As the whistle blew, Broxbourne were quick to establish their dominance on the field with a stream of attacking plays in the first quarter, but had to wait until the 22nd minute to get on the scoreboard, with Claire Cat Cattermole executing a short corner from the left slip. Cattermole was in action just minutes later as she made a diving goal line save to keep the Badgers in the game at 1-0, and with a roar from the crowd the team pressed on to win another corner, and another goal before the half time whistle. Pip Evans stepped in for a sliding deflection from a pass from the top of the D to nutmeg the away keeper. Evans celebration was especially jubilant, with the centre back under significant scrutiny after missing training over the past two weeks as she further negotiates her Christmas shopping day off with her current employer.

Canterbury came out in the second half to pile on the pressure, pushing an extra player into the midfield line and pressing Broxbourne’s defending 16 aggressively to finally win a series of corners. Taking inspiration from Cattermole the away side got a goal back from a left slip straight shot to take the game to 2-1 at the 40-minute mark. Despite recent set backs on home turf, the Badgers remained focused on the task in hand and were determined to give the crowd the win they had been waiting for. The remainder of the third quarter was a site for sore eyes, starting with Captain Laura Wills splitting open the opposition’s midfield and breaking into the D to find the composed Kerri Marshall who played a lifted ball over the logged keeper. Just minutes later the home team were attacking the Canterbury D again, as Em Wilkin’s reverse stick cross connected with Lucy “Bob” Hoksin to deflect in to take the game to 4-1. Wilkin’s finally found herself on the scoreboard in the final quarter after a baseline dribble around the away team’s defence put her in for a one on one at goal, and a reverse stick flick behind keeper’s left foot to seal the deal. Wilkin’s master class comes after a week of significant feedback for the player, which required coach Sam Marchant to set up a separate drop box for the midfielder given the volume of points across all aspects of her play.

Despite a goal, Hoksin found herself winning “Vadger” of the match has she was criticised for spreading herself too thinly after committing to netball, hockey, and cross fit in one day. Narrowly missing out on the award was veteran Gemma Wilkinson who missed a flick that would have taken the team to six goals for the day. Wilkinson claimed she was trying to reduce any potential goal tally for the year so she can get dropped from the squad to attend her annual ski holiday, pending permission from her family. Cattermole deservedly won “Badger” after her crucial goal and goal-line save alike, in addition to increasing the fan zone participants.

The Badgers now have a weekend off to rest ahead of the double header against Barnes on Nov 9th and 10th, where the team will be back on home soil on the Sunday to make their inaugural appearance in the National League Cup