“Badgers storm through National Cup after thrilling come-back”

By Alice Brown

The Badgers had a chance to regroup over the international break, where certain members of the squad, including previously claimed international veteran Gemma Wilkinson, were disappointment after not receiving a call up to the Olympic qualifier.

Most players took time to relax and reflect over the past few games, none more deservedly so than Rebecca “Bench” Scarrott (nee Watkins) who retreated to her home county of Weston Super Mare, after several media event absences over the past few weeks. Speaking exclusively with midfielder Kay Finch in the latest exert for her autobiography, “A Pinch of Finch”, Scarrott revealed she has been taking inspiration from Wagatha Christie to expose the reason behind her recent absence: “It all started when I was scrolling through the page of my cross-fit inspo, Lisa Banahan, when I got a notification from the Herefordshire Mercury tagging me in their latest crime poll. When I investigated further, I found they were about to print a front-page story about how me and my husband were defrauding the tax office and I was so confused because I had only told two people about this earlier that day. I had my suspicions on who it could be. Instead of confronting them I thought to myself “what would Coleen do?”. And then I knew. So, I started avoiding any public appearances and instead staged fake stories that were beyond believable to see where they would pop up, and low and behold just days after informing the target the whole team knew about them. You can’t believe how crazy these stories were, I staged my husband being attacked by our own cat and I even told them that I had to interview for a job I already had. I know, right, who would be stupid enough to believe all of these, well I’ll tell you, it’s….Alice Brown”. Shock waves have rippled through the Badger community that Brown was accused of spreading such fake news, especially given the centre midfielders role in the media team. Brown flew back early from a media conference in Slovenia last week to make peace with the Scarrots after claiming she had nothing to do with it, and that it was likely Pip Evans, who was confirmed to also be in the car with Scarrott at the time of the reveal. Evans and Brown have little love lost after the two fell out over a NIKE sponsorship deal last year.

Elsewhere Em Wilkins was not confirmed in the starting line up for Saturday’s league game until the very last minute, with the midfielder still struggling to download her 100GB feedback file from coach Sam Marchant. Tor Stacey also made a return to the squad after two weeks away living her best life on the Californian coast. Stacey was papped on the streets of Hollywood, with rumours producers are looking to make the defender part of the next “Step Up” franchise given her infamous defending technique. Stacey is not the only Badger enjoying the limelight this week, with Charlotte Skip spotted at a South Kensington diner with her hockey beau of two years, Gorgeous George. In an attempt to stay incognito, the left winger decided to leave behind all key equipment, including her stick, for the big event.

With the team fully equipped to play, the first match of the double header began, with the Badgers out quickly to put pressure on Barnes. Despite an aggressive first five minutes of play, Broxbourne conceded an early corner and Barnes executed on their first strike at goal to go 1-0 up. The Badgers were quick to respond with a flurry of corners to finish the first quarter, but failed to convert before the first break. The second quarter saw the Broxbourne forwards put on a master class display of pressing, pushing the Barnes’ defenders back deep into their defending 25. However, a quick breakout from the home teams’ dynamic midfielders resulted in a counter goal ahead of the half time whistle to go 2-0 up as the teams headed into the second half. The third quarter was by far the Badger’s strongest string of play with multiple shots on goal from open play and handfuls of short corners. Despite the pressure, the away team were not able to convert and went into the final quarter with the score line remaining 2-0. The final 17.5 minutes saw the Badgers put everything they had on the line, with the forwards continuing to work tirelessly on the press and tracking back to support the midfield and defence. Broxbourne had another slurry of corners and were inches away from putting themselves on the score line with a shot just wide from Scarrott. In the dying minutes of the game heartbreak struck as Barnes took advantage of counter attack and put away another goal to finish the game 3-0. However, the match result was not the only contention of the day, as Broxbourne head garment maker Hazel Cox was in attendance after a busy few months attending fashion weeks across the globe. With her, three brand new Badger post-match knit wear were up for grabs for infamous “badger” of the day. Alas when the votes came down it was her own granddaughter Scarrott who secured the win, and given the centre back already has a closet full of prototypes it was down to second placed tie between Em Wilkins and Izzy Gardiner which will be decided in a sudden death shuffle next week at training.

With another game against Barnes on the horizon just 24 hours later the Badgers looked externally for inspiration. Pip Evans, frustrated not to put away her trade mark short corner routine, signed up for a Shakespeare acting class so she could improve her fake stick stopping. Manager Kim Bames needed some extra support from the day’s loss with an intimate performance from Jason Donovan’s “Too Many Broken Hearts”. Gemma Wilkinson headed home for some much-needed family time, where she was also planning to discuss next years skiing holiday with her husband, and Claire “Cat” Cattermole assumed she would need some picking up on the Sunday evening went to seek tickets for the comedy club.

However, the Badgers reunited on Sunday morning, more determined than ever, to show Barnes and the home crowd what they are made of. Despite efforts from Captain Laura Wills to delay the away team, and the crowd, from attending the game at the correct time, both teams and their respective support were raring to go at 2pm. The match picked up from where it had left off the day before with both teams competing aggressively to be the first on the scoreboard. Alas it was Barnes again who were first up to the mark, with a 1-0 lead after the first quarter. The away team struck again just before half time, but the Badgers were not phased. The start of the second half saw the home team pick up their signature third quarter tempo, with Em Wilkins picking it up from the halfway line and carry at pace towards the top left of the D, with a quick turn on to her strong stick and fire away in to the back of the goal to put Broxbourne on the score board for the first time that weekend. The crowd went wild and fired the home side into action as they won a succession of corners that led to another goal and quick reaction from Cattermole who cleanly swept the ball in from a rebounded corner. The crowd were on their feet for the closing seconds of the game which saw another corner for Broxbourne, which was intercepted at the top of the D and cleared away for the final whistle to blow and alas the dreaded penalty shoot-out to arrive.

The time came to select the five penalty takers for the Badgers, with Kay Finch, Laura Wills, Becky Scarrott and Gemma Wilkinson all obvious choices for the moment. But who would take that fifth spot? Would it be Pip Evans with her notorious drag flick technique? Would it be Em Wilkins putting another goal on the score sheet for the day? Would it be Charlotte Skip celebrating the end of her two-year anniversary weekend? All obvious choices I am sure you would agree, but what the crowds weren’t expecting is two-time player of the season winner Lisa Banahan to step up. Banahan’s boyfriend after had to clarify if the rest of the team had come down with some bug that prohibited them from taking the flick. As Barnes stepped up to take the first flick Izzy Gardiner stood tall to take a convincing save on the line. However, an anonymous VAR tip required the penalty to be re-taken after Claims Gardiner had come off her line. The 16 shrugged it off, she could do this all day didn’t you know, and stepped up to take pull off another save. The Badgers asserted their place in the shootout with Finch and Scarrott firing their penalties home; however, Wilkinson failed to convert after admitting after the game she may have overdone it with the pre-match Freddos that day. So, it was down to Captain Wills, who didn’t take a second look back and stepped up to the mark to put Broxbourne into the last 16 of the National Cup. An emotional celebration for the Badgers, with Wills’ long-term partner slash media dictator Fradley shedding a couple of tears. The team, who after a tough start to the season, were thrilled to have this win in front of the home crowd, who rain or shine continue to show their support for team.