Broxbourne Ladies 3s stepped onto the pitch knowing they faced a top-of-the-table Shefford & Sandy side. With a full squad and a sub on each line, confidence was high despite the challenge ahead.

*A Fast Start from Shefford*
Shefford came out aggressively, pressing high and overloading Broxbourne’s defensive D. Their pressure paid off just four minutes in as they converted their first chance. Many teams might have panicked — but Broxbourne, knowing their resilience, simply reset and regrouped.

*Broxbourne Hit Back*
Their response was swift. Within five minutes, a flowing move ended with Cerys producing a beautiful reverse stick finish, coolly dispatched after an excellent assist from Hannah. Scores level, momentum shifting.

*Late First-Half Blow*
Despite composed defensive work — with calm transfers under pressure — Shefford found a second just before halftime. An unlucky assist from Lauren, intercepted by a high-pressing centre forward, allowed Shefford to edge ahead once more.

*Halftime Refocus*
The halftime talk highlighted the positives and introduced a tactical reshuffle aimed at frustrating Shefford.
Aaliyah tracked brilliantly on the wing, shutting down threats even after some earlier “choice words” came her way. Luckily, she decided it was “not that deep,” still managing a party, have a Chinese and attend the evening social.
Grace showed similar grit, defending strongly and maintaining composure after respectfully requesting that unnecessary language not be directed at her.

*Defence Under Siege — and Unbreakable*
The defence absolutely deserved a standout mention. Facing nearly double digits in short corners, they did not concede a single goal from them — a massive achievement against the league leaders’ physical and well-rehearsed attack. The back line stood firm, absorbed pressure, and matched Shefford’s physicality with determination and discipline.

*Opposition Frustrations Rising*
As the second half wore on, Shefford became increasingly frustrated — not just by Broxbourne’s resilience, but by the sheer volume of support and encouragement the Broxbourne players were giving each other. Every tackle, transfer, and turnover was met with positivity from the 3s, and it clearly rattled the opposition.

*Second-Half Battle*
Shefford added a third after a strong defensive step was unlucky to ricochet perfectly into the path of their striker. Even then, Broxbourne’s structure held and they remained dangerous on the counter.

*A Last-Minute Moment of Magic*
Broxbourne’s persistence paid off in the final minute when Hannah delivered a world-class deflection after a pinpoint assist from Cerys — a goal straight out of recent training drills.

*Full-Time Reflections*
Though the comeback fell just short, Broxbourne walked away proud. Losing by only one goal to the league leaders felt like a victory in itself, and the team’s collective energy, discipline, and work rate shone throughout.

*A Social Worthy of the Performance*
The celebrations continued at the shirt social, featuring the now-iconic Shein special from Tara. For anyone who’s seen the Instagram video — yes, the Tara T-shirt can absolutely be bulk ordered in the new year! A fitting end to a performance full of positivity, unity, and character.

A final shout-out goes to Emma, who delivered another exceptional game in goal and earned the Champagne Moment — even ahead of Hannah’s spectacular late goal.

Ladies 2s vs Havering 1 - 1-0 win
Goal scorers: Isla
Assists: Isobel
Player: Isla
Donkey: Isobel

Isobel Saves Hockey. Again.

Brox turned up for their 1pm home game full of excitement, energy, and—if you were Jess or Box—hangovers and impending birthdays. Warm-up was supervised by Cat’s three kids and Sue’s daughter, who paid far more attention to the team talk than Brox collectively managed all season. Millie, meanwhile, looked hotter than the entire squad combined.

But today wasn’t about birthdays. Or children. Or even the match, really.
Today was about Isobel.

Yes, that Isobel.
The same Isobel who turned up without a hockey stick.
The same Isobel who had to go home and get said stick.
The same Isobel who received a full-house vote for Donkey… which must have been a clerical error, because she was clearly the only one who read the script.

Once she returned—heroically, stick in hand, like a budget Arthur wielding a plastic Excalibur—she proceeded to produce the greatest passage of hockey Brox has ever witnessed.

From the 25, Isobel slid a world-class ball into Grace like she was auditioning for the Premier League. She got the return, danced effortlessly through 2–3 defenders (possibly 6–7 if we’re being honest), floated into the D with the elegance of a figure skater, and placed a disgustingly perfect pass across the keeper to Isla, who was waiting like a GCSE film student who had specifically storyboarded that exact moment.

Isla tapped it in.
Brox went up 1–0.
And the match report basically writes itself.

The rest of the team also technically played:
• Gem ran around up front bravely.
• Jess survived being hungover.
• Isla not only scored but also claimed Player, proving multi-tasking is real.
• Hannah, Darcy, Box, and Grace R dominated midfield like caffeinated otters.
• Gemma bossed as usual.
• Cat made a “really f-ing good” goal-line save that we’ll still be talking about in 2031.
• Baz, Grace C, and Sue kept the defence locked down.
• Kim was a brick wall made of slightly smug steel.

But let’s not pretend.
The headline is still Isobel.

With Brox battling hard in the second half—defending back-to-back corners, fighting for every ball, and clinging to that well-earned clean sheet—the Badgers walked away with a 1–0 victory, three points, and the satisfaction of leapfrogging Havering in the table.

A great day for the badge. A great day for the Badgers.
An even greater day for the Gospel of Isobel.

Men’s 3s vs Bedford 4 - 4-2 win
Goal scorers: KP x3, Sam Stock
Assists: Stu, Sam Stock, Wyatt & Harrison L
Player: KP
Donkey: Elliot B

The M3s returned to action at Badger Field following a Bye Week, optimistic for another home victory, facing a Bedford team whom we were level on points with.

Most players arrived refreshed from the week off, accept those that played O35s last week, with injuries to Cranners and AJ depleting the squad.

The usual warmup was undertaken. A box drill of firing balls at Simon, even when he wasn't in the goal (Stu). Once everyone had had enough of that, it was time to decide on the lineup and the realisation that we only had 3 defenders. Where was Elliot B? Obvious donkey before the game had even started, but the latest news, heard through the grapevine, was he drove back from Manchester that morning, just to play for us. Dedication.

Russ suggested a back 3, which was met with some trepidation as it hadn't gone so well the last time we tried it, but we went with it, and what a piece of master tactical prowess it proved to be.

5 minutes gone, we were 2-0 up and then 3-0 within 25 minutes. 2 for KP and Sam getting the other. Which he described as "Mitch absolutely fired it at me."

We are not described as the entertainers by those in the fantasy knowhow for nothing, and despite some solid defending, Bedford got 1 back before the break. A save from Simon was picked up by a hovering attacker who put the rebound into the goal.

The lasting message from the halftime team talk was more of the same, but the next goal is important.

The boys, wanting to keep the crowd thrilled, delivered, by allowing Bedford to pull another goal back within 5 minutes of the restart. A wayward short corner with the ball being fired towards the sideline somehow managed to work its way back into the D. Some questions as to the height of the subsequent cross/shot was put in at the back post.

Shortly afterwards, the umpires called the captains together, and both teams were told to cut out the appealing, which proved to be really hard. Harder for Bedford, who received a green and yellow card in quick succession.

Despite this, Bedford were giving as good as they got, with end to end stuff stirring the crowd into a frenzy. KP, the forever showboater, even delivered an audacious lob only to see it come back off the crossbar.

Crucial tackles, blocks, and saves were made from both teams until MOM KP finally got his hat-trick "calmly," rounding the keeper and putting Brox out of sight with 15 minutes to go.
It was more of the same from both sides until the final whistle, which saw the M3s with a 4-2 victory.

Men’s 4s vs St Albans 9 - 8-1 win
Goal scorers: Paul Stapes x4, Henry Stapes x3, Noah
Assists: Trev x2, Phil W x2, Noah, Paul, Henry & Jason
Player: Paul & Henry

The M4's were back at home this week for the 4pm fixture, this time up against a St Albans team, currently sitting only one place behind us in the league. A win was vital.
The usual squad shuffle up until virtually push back, was again playing its part.
Players were loaned out to the 5's to make up their numbers, pool players Phil W and Shane Bowden were called upon, "available" players not turning up and last minute illness to Andy Bourke made match prep quite challenging this week.
Thankfully prayers were answered and the numbers were back up. The ever reliable Rich Mellor stepped up to help out, although carrying an ongoing injury. Hayden resisted the temptation to sub on for the 3's in the previous match and minutes were offered by KP's brother Symon, who's GMS signature was still drying following his arrival at the mighty Broxbourne.

Minor tweaks to the starting 11, followed by Captain Moorhouse losing yet another toss saw St Alban's push back.

Spurred on by roars and cheers of the "Shane Bowden Fanclub" in the stands, Broxbourne started the game positively, and the good ball movement and graft that was shown in the last game, continued into this one.

12 minutes gone and some great movement saw Henry "Stapes Junior" put the home team 1 nil up, not wanting his son to be alone on the score sheet, Paul "Stapes senior" hit a second 4 mins later with a well converted penalty corner.

The Shane "Bowdenettes" who were going bonkers in the stands only had a further 5 minutes to wait for the 3rd - Another short corner delivered to Stapes senior who finished beautifully

The Stapes Senior hatrick was complete after 28 minutes !

The away team were rattled, but they still managed to pull one back in the 30th minute, when a suspect ball hit from what looked like outside the D, managed to ricochet off a brox foot and into the goal.

The Broxbourne advantage was back to 4 with another well-struck goal from Henry Staples

Ryan BA only called upon a couple of times, kept the goal safe from danger.
Experienced Centre backs Andy H and Luke did what they had to in order to keep the visitors out.
Rich playing through the pain barrier Jason M with a just single moment of class in the whole game, (Cheers from the stands could be heard as far as Ware)

Half time and 5 - 1 up !

Everyone played their part beautifully and we wanted more of the same in the 2nd half

With the 2nd half underway, the onslaught continued. Shane and Phil rotating brilliantly in the heart of Midfield. The pace of the game was again dictated and controlled by the one and only Trev Mellor.

5 mins in and it was 6 - Stapes Senior again with his 4th of the afternoon

St Albans heads were dropping, so Noah decided to make it worse for them and scored a 7th for Broxbourne

The rout was complete in the 60th minute when Stapes Junior struck for his Hatrick, making it 7 out of 8 for the Stapes family tally.

Brox finished the game to a standing ovation from their die-hard fans

extremely Proud Captain again

Captains note - Apologies for not mentioning the fine goal assists - I'll be honest, I'm 48 years of age, i can barely remember the day of the week, let alone remember who set up the goals, especially there being 8 of them. I have a job opening for a reliable note taker if anyone wants to volunteer?!

Away Fixtures

Men’s 1s vs Old Loughtonians 2 - 1-0 loss
Player: Elliot
Donkey: Sam W
Cards: Sam W & Ed (green), toby (yellow)

Match report pending.

Men’s 2s vs Potters Bar 1 - 5-0 loss
Player: Tom
Donkey: Baller
Cards: Browny (green), Baller (yellow)

Sinking faster than the Labour party

The badgers gathered on a gloomy afternoon at potters bar full of optimism and hope ready to give the opponents everything we had….

We also discovered that mr price was dancing the night away in blackbirds and browny got locked in a mysterious cellar (full of wine) until the early hours of the morning! As we've done a horrendous job of starting quickly this year we decided to do a military style 45 minute warm up! Blood was pumping and we were ready! We thought…

The match start evenly until lance couldn’t get his size 18 feet out the way of a hopeful shot. The short resulted is a ping pong style goal where know one really new what happened (summed up are day) The next few minutes we worked hard with some brilliant leading from are forwards resulted in a couple of opportunities for young Elliot. Frustration was shown but we continued to battle. The pressure started to show as young tom hopson got catapulted into the air by a bloke 5 times his size… tackles started to fly in, in desperate attempts to stay in the game. One too many bad tackles resulted in another short for the opposition. Four feet and three shots later it was 2-0. We started to think maybe the warm up wasn’t the problem…
Halftime speech tbh was about basics stopping passing and trying to get some form of control in the game, did we listen… we pressed higher up the pitch in the second half creating chances unfortunately with a 0% conversion rate. We got caught twice losing the ball and over committing leaving poor stapes with his pants down. Shout out to bobby for using his bollocks to control the ball before unleashing (a scream) then a decent attempt. Young Elliot also got snippered and hit deck in some discomfort. Shout out goes to tom who glided past 4 players to get out of trouble at the back “not a clue how he managed it” Towards the end in it got worse with browny getting caught slagging the umpire off getting a green card, then baller got a yellow for laughing.

Sully still hasn't done his shoe laces up. Baller is still arguing with the umpire as we speak….
Reality is we need a miracle but we keep our heads high and we’ll keep battling. 

Ladies 1s vs Cambridge Uni 2 - 6-3 win
Goal scorers: Em x2, Vic x2, Charlotte HG & Charlotte Skipp
Assists: Em x2, Vic, Ellie, Nads, Tor
Player: Em, Vic & Nads
Donkey: Martha

Broxbourne travelled to Cambridge this Saturday, and produced a game so dramatic it probably deserves its own Netflix documentary. However, what began as a shaky away day turned into one of the most impressive turnarounds the Badgers have ever pulled off.

Cambridge started strong, slotting home two early goals - one of which was generously ‘helped’ across the line by Skipp, goal-hungry after her appearance on the scoreboard last week. Whilst Lily may have been initially confused by this tactic, it became apparent that she was merely warming up for her later brilliant goal. Matters weren't helped by some truly surprising umpiring - the highlight of the first quarter being the whistle blown for time just as Bench was mid-shot in a short corner…

However, Broxbourne rose to the challenge, with some lovely play from midfielders Lara, Martha, Em and Lydia. Following this, the Badgers managed to bring themselves back into the game thanks to Vic, with a ball back post, assisted by Em. Broxbourne’s defence Lily, Bench, Tor, Skipp and Meg held strong at the back, yet unfortunately Cambridge added another - leaving Broxbourne 3-1 down heading into the final quarter.

However, Cambridge Uni had been lulled into a false sense of security by the Badgers, who unleashed a comeback of the century in the last 17 minutes - deciding that defending was overrated, and scoring 5 successive goals was much more fun. First, Em delivered a short corner ball straight to Skipp on the back post, making it not only her ‘second’ goal of the match, but also her second goal for Broxbourne in 2 weeks! She is celebrating appropriately by jetting off on a two week holiday - clearly retiring on a high.

Vic then returned for another goal, assisted by Ellie, slotted a brilliant tomahawk into the bottom right corner. With Broxbourne in full flow, Tor and Vic combined beautifully to set Em up for her two goals - including one finish snuck past the keeper from the baseline. The goals were coming so thick and fast that even the umpires struggled to keep track… apparently they are ‘only human'. Finally, Nads picked out Charlotte just beyond the P spot, who smacked it straight past the keeper to seal the game at an incredible 6-3 win for the Badgers.

The team should be exceptionally proud of their performance, particularly in the final quarter, and look forwards to taking on Bury St Edmunds next week.

Player was a three way tie between Em, Vic and Nads (moo off pending??), and donkey went to Martha for showing up in the wrong kit.

Men’s 5s vs Berko & Hemel 6 Dev - 2-0 loss
Player: Ollie W
Donkey: Fresh

No match report.

Ladies 4s vs Harpenden 3 - 3-2 win
Goal scorers: Jo x2, Ella
Assists: Kirsty x2, Meg H
Player: Jo & Rachael
Donkey: Sharon W

Broxbourne Ladies 4s were treated to a prime time fixture this weekend with a glamorous 4:15pm pushback away at Harpenden. After a punchy team talk and an obligatory Instagram video (priorities), the squad was buzzing and ready to go.

…Cue the classic hockey delay. Pushback drifted to 4:30pm, and as the mist rolled in and daylight disappeared, Broxbourne switched into twilight-hockey mode.

Broxbourne came out firing, down both wings and piling on the pressure with a handful of short corners. The breakthrough came from a slick set piece: Kirsty’s textbook pass to Ella, who smashed the ball goal-bound, clipped a defender’s foot, and still found the backboard. 1–0 Broxbourne.

Four minutes later, Meg crossed a perfect ball into Jo, who coolly slotted home for 2–0 — and Broxbourne were flying.

Harpenden, however, weren’t done. A quick break left Broxbourne outnumbered, and the hosts converted to narrow the gap.

But the moment of the half belonged to Jo. With five minutes remaining, she decided the entire pitch was her runway, picked up the ball in her own half, drove three-quarters of the field, and buried it. A sensational solo effort for 3–1.

After a sweet-fuelled pep talk (literally), Broxbourne headed back out determined to build on their lead.

Broxbourne kept up the intensity, carving out chances and powering down the wings — especially with Rachael causing chaos on the right — but just couldn’t quite add to the tally.

Harpenden, however, snatched one back in the final ten minutes, setting up a tense finish. But Broxbourne held firm, securing a hard-earned 3–2 victory as the fog thickened around them.

Player(s) of the Match:
Jo for her lethal finishing and that epic pitch-length run and goal.
Rachael for endless powerhouse runs down the right.

Donkey went to Sharon W, for:
bringing her handbag to the match like it was a night out, nearly taking Frankie out with a free-hit attempt, and then somehow hitting the ball into sideline netting instead of passing the ball for a free hit.

A truly outstanding triple-threat performance.

Sunday 16th November

Home Fixtures

Women's O45s vs St Albans O45s - 11-0 loss

The Tequila Tumble

It started innocently enough.

One goal…(minute 5)
A neat St Albans tap-in after five minutes. Broxbourne nodded, stretched, assured themselves it was just an early wake-up call.

Two goals… (minute 12) Another ruthless St Albans attack — the kind executed so cleanly that Broxbourne could only nod at each other in that “fair enough, not much stopping that one” sort of way.

Three goals… (minute 14) A beautiful St Albans strike that whistled in. The Broxbourne defence swayed slightly — not unlike someone reconsidering that third tequila shot.

Broxbourne now thinking that this is gonna be a LONG afternoon.

However… We went in at half time thinking it was Christmas as we were only 3-0 down. What a team effort!! Some cracking defending and lots of ‘shots’ saved by Kim. Back to the second half with ‘carry on as we are - this is much better than last time’!

…Floor. (Minute 1 of the second half)
 St Albans came out meaning real business…

Unfortunately, there were still another eight goals to go.

From that point on, St Albans didn’t just turn the screw — they built the entire shelving unit. Their forwards danced, their midfield sliced lines cleaner than a chef’s knife, and their defence had less give than a tax inspector.

Broxbourne, to their credit, worked. They pointed, they ran, they shouted encouragement like optimistic parents at a school sports day. But the St Albans over-45s played like they’d been secretly training with Olympians and possibly drinking nothing stronger than kale juice.

By the time the scoreline hit 11–0, the Badgers had completed the full tequila experience:
• legs wobbly,
• vision occasionally blurry,
• decision-making questionable,
• and everyone silently swearing they’d “never let this happen again.”

St Albans finished classy, composed, and ridiculously good — the kind of performance you applaud even while wishing they’d been a little less brilliant.

Broxbourne finished exhausted but still standing… mostly… promising to come back stronger, still positive, and preferably less metaphorically intoxicated.

Thanks so much to all the players, supporters, Alan for umpiring at the 11th hour and to our amazing management team!

Final score: St Albans 11, Broxbourne 0.
Moral of the story: Sometimes you’re the tequila. Sometimes you’re the floor.

Away Fixtures 

Mixed vs Harpenden - 3-0 win
Goal scorers: Sam G, Cat & Tor
Player: Joe
Donkey: Ed

Brox Mixed claimed a solid 3–0 victory over Harpenden Masters, with all three goals coming in a dominant first half. Brox controlled the game early, converting their chances and putting the match out of reach before halftime.

The second half was far quieter, with neither side creating many significant opportunities. Brox managed the game comfortably, maintaining their lead while Harpenden pushed but couldn’t find a breakthrough.

A composed performance and a deserved win for Brox.

Coming up this weekend

Saturday 22nd November

Home Fixtures
10am - Mens 5s vs Potters Bar 3
11.30am - Ladies 5s vs Welwyn Garden City 3
1pm - Mens 2s vs Bedford 3
2.30pm - Ladies 1s vs Bury St Edmunds 1
4pm - Mens 1s vs Pelicans 1
5.30pm - Ladies 4s vs Bishop's Stortford 7

Away Fixtures
11.30am - Mens 4s vs Rickmansworth 3
12pm - Ladies 3s vs Saffron Walden 3
1.15pm - Mens 3s vs Blueharts 4
4pm - Ladies 2s vs Crostyx 1