This week the ladies 5s were at the badgers den for their long run of home games! This week being home game 2/3, the girls were in high spirits about not having to hunt down another team’s changing rooms. After the plan to watch the men’s 5s game and steal some of their young blooded players for a pregame warm up was dashed by some untimely frost, the girls set about to a very wet warm up in many layers, minus Katie H who was determined that she preferred cold wet legs to wet leggings. (Each to their own).

The game commenced with the girls in midfield (Olivia S, Tess, Maisie and Annie Q) holding strong, giving the forwards (Milly S, Katie H, Sharon W and Shannon) many chances at goal! The enthusiastic cheers and pad slaps, from captain and keeper Hannah, could be heard across the field as the team dodged and weaved through the endless sea of opposition players. A few times WGC managed to break free and get some straight runs at the goal, but not without a blockade of badger’s den defenders ready and waiting. After her previous game of epic short corner saves, Francesca was a motivated flurry of speed up the side lines to the waiting midfielders aided by the fearsome slaps of Top Diamond Teagan. Sarah BA and Lorraine could be seen regularly pulling a fast one on the opposition feigning passes and swiftly clearing the ball out of the D! A welcome goal came from Milly cheekily sneaking in the ball over the line resulting in an assist from Sharon at 23 minutes in!

The second half saw a slight extinguishing of the 5s first half flame. Struggling to keep up their impressive pace from the first half, the 5s fought off short corner after short corner. Unfortunately, it was a rouge attacker breaking free from the midfield and an unsuccessful intimidation tactic from the final line of defence that left the game standing at a 1-1 draw. Hoping for a win but not undeterred by the draw, the first half flaming fives left with high spirits and the promise of a waterproof speaker for pregame motivation at home game 3/3 next week!

Player was awarded to Olivia S for her stick skills.
And donkey was a tie between Francesca and longstanding donkey Tess for their horizontal hockey.

Mens 2s vs Bedford 3 - 7-0 win
Goal scorers: Baller x2, Angus x2, Jack, Browny & Bobby
Assists: Jack x2, Baller x2, Mitch & Angus
Player: Baller
Donkey: Baller

A return to form or an outlier

Following a demoralising away loss to Potters Bar the previous week, Broxbourne Men's 2s returned to their home pitch on Saturday afternoon, fully aware that their clash against Bedford 3s was a must-win for division survival.

The prime-time 1 PM slot drew a supportive crowd, including a rare appearance from Sully's mother, who was treated to a spectacular performance.

The Badgers started with immediate intent, displaying confident passing and maintaining possession—a significant improvement on recent outings. This shift in fortunes was perhaps fuelled by the return of key players, notably Mitch and Angus, with Mitch confidently boasting a 100% winning streak for any team he plays for.

The pressure quickly paid off. Broxbourne opened the scoring from a well-executed short corner. Moments later, the lead was doubled when a precise crossfield pass from Mitch was flicked on, allowing Jack to register his goal of the day. A further strike before the break put the 2s in cruise control, enjoying a commanding lead and playing the fluid hockey they are known for.

The half-time discussion was brief: "More of the same."

The Badgers delivered. The second half became a goal-scoring clinic, with 5 different players registering on the scoresheet. 'Baller' somehow managed to bag two goals, despite his self-admitted struggle to trap the ball throughout the game. This earned him both the coveted Man of the Match and the 'Dick of the Day' title.

The 7-0 final score was a resounding statement, but the afternoon was not without drama. During the second half, a powerful clearance from the Bedford centre-back was heading harmlessly toward the halfway line. Mitch, attempting a heroic interception, instead deflected the ball directly into the face of a certain spectator Sully’s mother who will likely be taking a break from pitchside support for the foreseeable future.

The comprehensive win was met with a celebratory team curry. High-flying Blueharts are next up for Broxbourne. If they weren't already, they should certainly be quaking in their boots after seeing this scoreline from the Badgers.

Ladies 1s vs Bury St Edmunds 1 - 2-0 win
Goal scorers: Bench & Meg S
Assists: Lydia & Em
Player: Lydia
Donkey: Bench
Cards: Bench (green), Em (yellow)

*A Dreary Day, Packed Badgerden, and a Performance Worthy of 1994 United*

There was something in the air at the Badgerden. The drizzle, the stand crammed with ex-players, families, and die-hard badger fans.. it felt like East Prem theatre at it's finest. During the pre-match team talk, Coach Az drew inspiration from history, likening the Badgers' season so far to that of a dominant Manchester United side from the 1990s. Joining the squad pre-match were future Badger stars Esme and Daphne, strolling around the room with the energy of Marcus Rashford and Kobbie Mainoo. But looming over the match-day chatter was the notable absence of Skipp, who, after back-to-back goal-scoring heroics, has taken temporary leave to escape the overwhelming media spotlight. She's reportedly laying low with her WAG partner Gorgeous George, who - in stark to his usual, highly photographed reputation - has remained tight-lipped, composed and crucially - shirt on. A shock to tabloids everywhere.

In goal, Lily was on fire, commanding the defence with authority like a young Peter Schmeichel, ready to take on her toughest critic, Alice Brown, who brought the full Jamie Carragher energy with her relentless, scrutinising analysis on this week's podcast, once again doubting Lily's clean sheet potential. Ahead of her, the backline moved as a single cohesive unit. Bench and Hallie formed a dominant centre back pairing reminiscent of Steve Bruce and Gary Pallister. Tor continuously penetrated the right hand side with incisive runs like Paul Parker, testing Bury St Edmunds across all their lines, while Meg T, calm and composed on the left, linked effortlessly with the midfield, echoing Denis Irwin's quiet reliability.

In the midfield, Martha, sporting her iconic space buns, surged forward with trademark carries, spraying passes with precision reminiscent of David Beckham at his peak. Much like Beckham in the 90s, her hair continues to evolve at a speed that terrifies hairdressers and teammates alike. Lydia, boosted by her recent data revelation of a less than 5% turnover rate, dominated the centre with the efficiency of Brian McClair alongside Lara who showcased her creative skill, unlocking tight spaces and threading passes like Ryan Giggs. While Willsy added moments of unpredictable flair in true Andrei Kanchelskis fashion. Nads was a force to be reckoned with upfront playing in a style similar to that of Mark Hughes - always in the thick of the action. Tension rose late in the half when Em was sin binned for a tackle that looked a little too inspired by a 1994 Roy Keane, earning herself a yellow. Bench followed with a green card, giving the badgers an unwanted but character-building continued spell of 10 players on the pitch.

Head coach Az channeled peak Sir Alex Ferguson as he delivered a calm but pointed halftime talk. Assistant manager Bob handled subs and emotional support with the gentle authority of Brian Kidd. The second half the badgers came out flying with the forward line piling on the pressure. Ellie zipped past defenders with Giggs-like flair connecting with Paris, who combined pace and power in the style of Eric Cantona. Meg S orchestrated the link between midfield and attack like Paul Ince while Vic, who after last week's stunning two-goal performance, pressed high with Paul Scholes- like sharpness and decision making.

The breakthrough came from a meticulously worked short corner routine, with Bench striking the ball to find the net, silencing podcast critics Al and Eamon Dunphy sports pundit lookalike, Lisa Banahan. The second goal highlighted the teams synergy with nearly every badger involved before Lydia slipped in a gorgeous through ball for Meg S who slotted it home with ice-cold composure. The last minutes, Broxbourne kept the ball and dictated the tempo until the final whistle. Keeper Lily-Schmeichel recorded yet another clean sheet, cementing her status as the leagues best by goals-against ratio.

Player of the match was awarded to Lydia - the midfield metronome who lived up to her glowing data. Donkey of the day went to bench for being caught in the changing room giving career-launch advice to a fellow single mum about starting her OnlyFans account. A level of extracurricular enthusiasm unmatched by any 1994 united player.

With this victory, the badgers move another step closer to replicating United's flawless 1994 run. With Upminster away next week, the title charge remains firmly, thrillingly alive.

Mens 1s vs Pelicans 1 - 7-3 loss
Goal scorers: Hoppo, Josh & Rob
Assists: Sam G, Sam W & Toby
Player: Josh & Iain
Donkey: Hoppo
Cards: Henry (green), Hoppo (yellow), Stan (yellow)

It was a fine evening for hockey at Badgerfield.

After watching an inspirational pre match movie in the dressing room the team arrived to the floodlit pitch to find the stadium packed out. The scene was set for the Badgers to cause an upset and clip the wings of high flying Pelicans.

The game started with a high intensity and early exchanges were fairly even. In what has been a difficult start to the season the Badgers played possibly the best hockey they have this season, both in and out of possession.

On 10 minutes Broxbourne lost their captain briefly after sustaining a brutal head injury. The home side regrouped and quickly reorganised to take control of the game.

14 minutes in and a slick team passing move found Groves at the back post who played the ball across goal. Toby House coolly dummied the ball to leave it for Hoppo to slide in at the back post and slam the ball home. 1-0 to Broxbourne and Pelicans feathers were ruffled.

Pelicans reacted well in the second quarter and their South African contingent, including one ‘international’ player (playing regional Prem) got a grip on the game and started putting the Badgers under the kosh. It wasn’t long before the game was 1-1.

This was followed by a Pelicans onslaught, 1-2, 1-3, 1-4. It could have been more had it not been for some heroics by GK Joe.

The second half started with Brox confident they could get back in the game, but minutes later ‘cramp’ got the better of Stan Mason, who has become a vital part of the Broxbourne machine this season and he had to leave the field of play, however the umpires were not buying it and issued Mason a yellow card for simulation.

Hoppo was incensed by this and lost his head. He was lucky not to see red after inflicting grevious bodily harm on a player for no reason other than having his shirt tucked into his hotpants. As tempers flared Broxbourne got the bit between their teeth and lifted their game again to fight back. Veteran Josh Chapman showed his years of experience and bungled the ball home to make the score 2-4. With the crowd on their feet and urging the team on in the last quarter it looked like there could be a sting in the tail feather, but minutes later Hothead Hoppo committed a serious foul and reacted by smashing the ball out of bounds long after the whistle had been blown. A deserved yellow card was issued.

Broxbourne were not to roll over though and found the energy to cope a man down. With a one man deficit, Rob Schilling received the ball after an outstanding passing move from the home team and rounded the keeper with ease to slot the ball into the onion bag, getting the score back to 3-4 and giving Broxbourne a glimmer of hope they could get something from the game.

With 5 minutes left the Badgers threw the kitchen sink at Pelicans but came off worse as their speedy Saffa broke forward after turnovers to set up 2 more goals for the high flying birds to seal the victory.

Overall Broxbourne can be pleased with their performance and if they can bring the same game into next weekends must win game against bottom of the league Cambridge South, they should get their points reward.

The evening concluded with bar games and beers to celebrate Toby and Mitch’s 35th birthdays and Hoppos 21st.

Roll on next week.

Ladies 4s vs Bishop's Stortford 7 - 1-0 loss
Player: Jo & Lisa
Donkey: Sarah G

Venue: A pitch resembling a shallow tidal zone
Weather: Rain so fierce it was basically exfoliating

The Ladies 4s arrived ready for battle — and discovered, with only minutes to go before push-back, that they were operating under a strict “one umpire short of a full set” situation. Cue KP, who heroically stepped in at the last second, proving once and for all that the team’s greatest strength is not hockey, fitness, or accuracy, but sheer improvisation under pressure. KP grabbed the whistle, the game began, and honestly, we’re all still impressed that he volunteered after a couple of pints and in the pouring rain!

Facing the top-of-the-table titans, the Ladies 4s launched into the match with admirable gusto (and occasionally controlled sliding). Despite conditions better suited to white-water rafting, the team pushed forward relentlessly and earned several short corners — none of which, tragically, chose to become goals. The ball seemed to be experiencing a personal crisis, repeatedly declining scoring opportunities like it wasn’t sure if it was fully committed to the sport.

Still, the league leaders found the net once, via a shot that skidded like a rogue bar of soap through the defence and across the line. 1–0. Nature may have provided the assist.
But the Ladies 4s refused to drop their heads — partly because looking down increased the risk of face-planting into puddles. Wave after wave of pressure kept the opposition honest, tired, and occasionally startled by how fast a player can travel across wet turf without meaning to.

Special mention must go to Jo, who entered the match with one simple promise to herself: don’t fall over this week. For 69 minutes, she triumphed. She resisted puddles, she resisted slippery turns, she resisted gravity itself. And then, in the dying seconds, some “robust” shoulder-to-shoulder action finally sent her gracefully — okay, not gracefully — to the ground. A valiant effort, Jo. The universe was impressed. Gravity was patient.

Despite the narrow defeat, the Ladies 4s made the league leaders work harder than they’ve probably had to all season. The commitment was there, the teamwork was there, and the comedic sliding was absolutely there.

Final Thoughts:
The opposition may have won 1–0, but the Ladies 4s claimed the moral victory, the entertainment award, and KP claimed the spontaneous-umpiring bravery medal. A fantastic, hard-fought match — and one that proves the Ladies 4s can take on anyone, weather included.

Away Fixtures

Mens 4s vs Rickmansworth 3 - 4-0 win
Goal scorers: Symon x2, Harrison M & Danny
Assists: Trev x2, Luke & Danny
Player: Trev & Luke
Donkey: Jason

The Men's 4's set off early on a pretty fresh Saturday morning to take on the 3's of Rickmansworth in their back yard. This fixture last season ended with a 3 nil loss from what I remember, so a score was there to be had

Arriving early, to avoid traffic, Captain Moorhouse, Harrison and New squad addition Symon Prentice, got on with a cheeky stretch out

Thankfully, the rest of the squad appeared all at once to the relief to the early 3

Changes to the team that defeated St Albans, came in the form of Andy Bourke in the heart of defence, along side Birthday Boy Andy Harris

Danny G and Kieran P came back into the midfield, to support the ever reliable Trev Mellor

The bench welcomed back Kieran O, Joseph Griffiths, The Wilkinson half of "the Ollies"
and also coming in was Symon Prentice in what was his 2nd game of Hockey in a fair few years
With warm up complete and yet another defeat in the toss for Broxbourne, The home side pushed back

Winning the ball back quickly, Brox set off with the same intensity as the previous week.

Some great movement saw Broxbourne invade the oppositions D early on and with 4 mins on the clock, the ball was nicely converted by Harrison, with an assist from Danny G
1 nil Brox

Dominating the game, Broxbourne gave very little to the Home side. All the hard work in training and listening to the advise of experience players before and after the games were really starting to show

After coming on as a sub, it didn't take newcomer Symon P long to add to the score - a 28th minute cracker from just inside the D with a lovely pass from Trev
2 nil Brox

Rickmansworth managed to get themselves a short corner just before half time, but thankfully, shot wide

Half time chat from Trev was positive and the team were encouraged to get back out and keep doing what we were doing

4 mins into the second half saw a short corner awarded to Broxbourne. The ball nicely injected to Trev on the edge of the D, saw his flick saved by the keeper. fortunately the ball dropped to the stick of Danny, and a nice conversion saw the lead extended to 3

With the weather quite rough, the subs rolled frequently, to give every one minutes and a chance to warm up a bit

Excellent support from the guys on the bench also gave breathers for the other players

On 50 mins, Luke decided to go on one of his surging runs, passing the ball to Symon who unleashed a belter ( one for you Josh ) into the back board of the goal

With 10 mins to spare, Jason noticed , he didn't have his own stick. It was in fact Harrison's. He'd picked up the wrong stick when coming back on ( no wonder the performance wasn't as great )

Final whistle and another well earned 3 points for Broxbourne

calling MOM the match was difficult - 2 goals from Symon, Midfield bossed as Standard by Trev.

Before leaving the pitch for the warmth of their cars, everyone thought it would be fitting to sing happy birthday to the young Andy Harris who was celebrating not only a special milestone but another fantastic day on the hockey pitch.

Well done everyone that played.

Ladies 3s vs Saffron Walden 3 - 0-0 draw
Player: Emma
Donkey: Grace K

Coming off the back of a string of narrow losses, Broxbourne Ladies 3s arrived determined to shift the momentum. The results might not have fallen their way recently, but the attitude, growth, and commitment across the squad have been steadily climbing—and the team were proud to prove it again this weekend.

With a full squad of 15, Broxbourne had the luxury of substitutes—something they knew they’d need in what was always going to be a tough fixture. Last season’s seven-nil defeat to the same opposition lingered in the back of their minds, but this time there was a plan, a system, and even a meticulously crafted rotation schedule in Captain Hannah’s sacred notebook (making its debut appearance of the season).

Of course, not everything could run smoothly. Lauren, blessed with improved fitness and a now regular hangover-free matchday, decided to dry ‘defying gravity’ on her run the night before. She arrived sporting legs that resembled those of a five-year-old who’d lost a fight with a tarmac playground. Tors and Fixter were quick to offer the classic medical advice: apply a wet paper towel and crack on.

There was at least some good fortune—the game was on Pitch One rather than the gloomy back pitch. Less good was the gale-force wind and relentless sideways rain, courtesy of whatever storm was passing through Hertfordshire.

The match started at pace, with both sides trading end-to-end attacks. Broxbourne identified Saffron Walden’s danger players early and managed to absorb pressure through strong defensive organisation. Several short corners were soaked up with excellent man-marking and routine-breaking interventions.
Broxbourne’s back line showed real development, repeatedly transferring the ball out of trouble as they’d been working on in training. Sharon added real composure and grit at the back, stepping in with several key tackles at crucial moments to relieve pressure and keep Saffron Walden at bay.

In attack, the team created several promising opportunities—but the Saffron Walden keeper refused to budge. She survived a full-on assault from Olivia and Grace at one point, taking more hits than a piñata at a children’s party, yet somehow kept the ball out.

The organisation across the pitch was superb—structured, communicative, and calm under pressure.
Well… except for Grace, who, during her substitution, charged enthusiastically onto the pitch carrying someone else’s stick, only to realise immediately and sprint straight back off again. A brief moment of chaos in an otherwise impressively disciplined performance.

Despite the brutal weather, Broxbourne reached halftime knowing they were right in the contest. Where in the past a small lapse might have cost them, this time the determination felt different.

Halftime - grab a dryrobe and run for cover!!!

Broxbourne came out firing. Lauren and Tors made assertive steps forward to win loose balls and intercepting crash balls into the D, Tara offered her trademark flat-stick precision to snuff out central attacks, and on the rare occasion Saffron Walden broke through, Emma produced the champagne moment of the match—a heel flick clearance so stylish it stunned teammates, opponents, umpires and spectators alike.

In the middle, the speed and tenacity of Aaliyah, Isla and Alice pushed the team forward, while Kirsty slalomed through defenders with her trademark weaving runs.
Both teams were visibly tiring as the conditions continued to worsen, but Broxbourne refused to drop their intensity.

Up front, Laura, Cerys and Hannah all came close with strong drives into the circle, only to be denied repeatedly by an in-form opposition keeper. Fixy delivered a storming match at both ends of the pitch—clearly still fuelled by her Over 45s heroics the previous week.

In the dying seconds, Broxbourne created a flurry of chances inside the circle, the ball bouncing around like a lottery draw, but they just couldn’t find the finishing touch.

The match ended in a well-earned draw—just a point on paper, but a huge step forward from last year’s heavy defeat. It felt like progress, it was progress, and the team left the pitch proud of how far they’ve come.

A special mention goes to Tara’s sister, who—despite her loyalties lying firmly with Saffron Walden—braved the rain to support Broxbourne from the sideline. True dedication in truly miserable weather.

Momentum shifted. Confidence earned. Development undeniable.

Broxbourne Ladies 3s feel they are are building something—and this performance showed it loud and clear.

Mens 3s vs Blueharts 4 - 5-2 win
Goal scorers: KP x4, AJ
Assists: AJ x2, Hayden, Sam S & Cranners
Player: Cranners & KP
Donkey: KP

An entertaining game as usual for the M3s, probably slightly trumped by the efforts to get top scorer KP to the game.
It was supposed to be a nice trip up to Hitchin to play Blueharts 4, a team that were sitting around the same position than us in the table. So very important to get there in plenty of time to prepare.
As those players meeting at the Brox clubhouse were about to depart, Hayden received a desperate cry for help. KP was at King's Cross Station and no trains were going to Hitchin. Hayden was dispatched to liaise a rendezvous point whilst the others set off on their way. Slightly delayed but more worried that 2 players were likely to miss pushback. Roadworks and traffic congestion around Stevenage resulted in half the team turning up as the umpires called 5 minutes. Still no KP or Hayden but also no training balls, as they were in the van with Hayden.
Fresh led the warmup and everyone else pretended to play spot the ball. As the umpires called 2 minutes the wanderers arrived, via Luton Parkway.
A starting lineup was decided and Si just managed to get kitted up in time as the umpires blew for the start of the match.
Who needs preparation? Halftime 2-0 Brox. Two excellently taken shorts, one each from KP and AJ. The Blueharts keeper not helped by his defenders almost running away and leaving the goal exposed.
The halftime team talk was more of the same and the obligatory line, "the next goal is important". And this time it was Brox that got it. KP scoring from another short before Blueharts managed to get one of there own. 3-1 became 5-1, KP scoring both, another short and the other after rounding the keeper following a delightful through ball from Sam.
There was a delay to the restart of one of the goals (can't remember which one) as the ball had gone missing. Several Brox players helpfully suggested that the Blueharts players check the back of the net as that's usually where the ball ends up when a goal is scored.
Before the game ended Blueharts scored a 2nd, but a solid display again from the M3s. Donkey obviously to KP and also shared MOM with James who did a great job filling in at left back.
Next the M3s return to "our playground" with tickets having already been sold out.

Ladies 2s vs Crostyx 1 - 3-1 loss
Goal scorer: Darcy
Assist: Cat
Player: Darcy
Donkey: Emily R

On the Olympic pitch where legends play,
Rain fell steady, cold and grey.
Soaked from warm-up through to play,
But fifteen Badgers took their stand,
Frozen fingers, numb on the hand.

Up front Gem drove the pressing fight,
Charlotte, Jess, Isobel tightening the bite —
Turnovers rolling, Crostyx pinned,
Their backline rattled in the wind.
Midfield worked in the icy rain —
Hannah linking again and again,
Darcy and Box carving lanes with grit,
Grace R sweeping every loose bit.

Defenders solid through the storm —
Cat stepping early, reading form,
Emily R calm, Baz brave at speed,
Grace C spotting danger before the need.
Sue shut channels, Evie cleared ground,
Kim denied corners with a thudding sound.
First half gave us little cheer —
Two scrappy goals slid in from near.
At half-time Millie’s words cut through,
A spark of warmth the cold withdrew.

Then came our moment — sharp and bold:
A short corner earned in the biting cold.
Cat’s delivery crisp and true,
Darcy struck low, slicing through —
A clean finish cutting through the rain,
A bright spot in the icy strain.
Their third came helped by whistles wild,
Calls so strange the turf just smiled.
If donkey belonged to anyone today,
The umpires surely led the way…
(or Gem — but we’ll save that for another day).

But fate had jokes and so did they —
A dodgy VAR on a moo-off play,
Somehow the chaos swung my way,
And donkey landed with me anyway.
For not playing last week — apparently that’s fair,
And not being a hoe (a shocking affair),
Plus an honourable mention — let’s not forget — To number 6, the real reason I’m in the jacket yet.
We finished soaked and freezing tight,
But still showed grit, still showed fight —
A strong performance, plenty learnt in the rain,
Loads of positives to take to training again.
And next week on Badgerfield, with spirits alight,
We’re ready to push and take three points outright.

Coming up this weekend...

Saturday 29th November

Home Fixtures
10am - Ladies 5s vs Bishop's Stortford 8
11.30am - Mens 5s vs Hertford 7 Dev
1pm - Ladies 2s vs Blueharts 1
2.30pm - Mens 3s vs Vauxhall 1
4pm - Ladies 3s vs Welwyn Garden City 2
5.30pm - Mens 4s vs MBDA 1

Away Fixtures
11.30am - Ladies 1s vs Upminster 1
11.30am - Mens 2s vs Blueharts 2
3.15pm - Mens 1s vs Cambridge South 1
5pm - Ladies 4s vs Saffron Walden 4