It was an early start for Broxbourne Ladies 3’s this week as they welcomed Stortford to their home turf. Following on from their away victory last weekend, the Badgers were hoping to build on that performance and continue their positive run.

The previous season had seen the two sides meet, with Broxbourne taking one win and one draw, so everyone knew this was going to be another good battle.

With full squad availability, Broxbourne had the luxury of substitutes — something that would prove to be very useful as the temperature was already hotter than the core of the sun before 10am! It was also great to finally welcome Bob to the 3s who was very much appreciative of the 10am game and shared her itinerary for the morning and how much time she would have after!

The Badgers knew they needed to take the game by the horns and play an attacking game from the start if they were going to get anything from it early on. They certainly did just that.

Maisie, who has settled into the team brilliantly and has already begun making a real impact, opened the scoring after just two minutes. The early goal clearly caught Stortford by surprise, and just two minutes later Broxbourne found a second — once again through Maisie! It was a real shame however as her parents turned up in the second half, but the team were sure to share what a welcomed edition she has been and invited them back to see her score more goals hopefully in another fixture.

Stortford responded as expected, putting Broxbourne under periods of pressure, but the Badgers’ defence stood strong. Every defender stepped up to their player, making key interceptions and ensuring Stortford were unable to create clear opportunities to strike.

It was also evident that the defensive unit was working together extremely well. Players were being channelled into areas where their teammates could step in with a flat stick and snuff out the danger. The communication and teamwork at the back were a real positive.

The training-ground drills were also on full display, with some excellent first-touch control and link-up play. There was noticeably more consistency than last week, with the team moving the ball well and creating opportunities through some promising combinations.

Stortford battled hard and managed to hold the Badgers at bay for a period, but they could only do so for so long.

At the 20-minute mark, Broxbourne added their third goal, this time through captain Cerys, giving the Badgers a well-deserved advantage and further reward for their positive start.

Half-time arrived with the score 3–0, but the Badgers were hungry for more.

And more came…

In true Ladies 3’s fashion, there were periods of the second half where tired legs started to set in and Stortford turned up the pressure. The opposition put Broxbourne under some serious pressure, demanding plenty of energy and determination to keep them at bay.

But this was a whole-team defensive effort.

Some fantastic saves from Kim, combined with the hard work of every player in front of her, ensured that Stortford simply couldn’t find a way through. The defensive unit continued to work tirelessly, making interceptions, tracking runners and putting their flat sticks in the right places at the right time.

The pressure was clearly starting to frustrate Stortford. At one point during the game, one of their players posed the question to Tara:
“Is there anywhere you’re not?”

She had clearly lost count of the number of times she had been dispossessed by the wonderful flat stick of our centre-back!

And that defensive effort was matched at the other end of the pitch. The hard work to win the ball back and turn possession over paid off, with Broxbourne finding another two goals — both scored by Cerys.

Unfortunately for Cerys, she failed to manage her usual goal-avoidance this week, meaning she will now be responsible for buying the Prosecco for Wednesday’s training session. We’ll let her decide whether scoring twice was worth the price!

The final whistle brought confirmation of a 5–0 victory for Broxbourne.

More importantly, the team spirit was noticeably more positive this week. The effort, communication and willingness to work for each other were evident throughout the game, and nowhere was that more obvious than in the team photo.

A “bundle” was requested…

And a bundle was delivered!

There were plenty of smiles and plenty of bodies piled into the photo — exactly the sort of team spirit the Badgers needed.

Players of the Match
This week’s Player of the Match was shared between Kim and Cerys, recognising their work at opposite ends of the pitch.
Kim produced some fantastic saves when Stortford turned up the pressure, while Cerys continued to lead from the front and contribute at the other end.

And then there was the Donkey…

That honour went to Tara, for her unforgettable Diet Coke order through the changing-room window after her shower.

We think Stortford thought they had finally escaped Tara and her unmistakable dulcet tones. They were wrong.

As the team were outside enjoying their post-match croissants, Tara called over from the changing room and proceeded to holler her Diet Coke order across the seating area.

There was every chance the Stortford players nearly dropped their croissants.

A 5–0 win, a clean sheet, some cracking hockey and a much-needed boost in team spirit — not a bad way to spend a Saturday morning!

Onwards, Badgers!

Mens 1s vs Ipswich 1 - 7-0 loss
Player: George & Tomi
Donkey: Tom DS & Joe

It was a bright sunny day at the Broxbourne fortress for the midday 1st XI fixture. Both sides warmed up in good spirits ahead of the clash to the inspiring tunes from the South African flavours of Ipswich.

The sounds of chirping birds and people enjoying their day in the park were soon broken by the first whistle, and soon after the barking orders of an unsettled Broxbourne side during the early phases as they attempted to thwart the early fast-paced play from the East Anglian side. The umpire’s whistle continued to pierce the sunny afternoon as a flurry of penalty corners were awarded to the visitors. Signs of an unsettled side arose again amid suggestions that the retreating defensive players lacked a certain urgency—though 'they did have to come from the halfway line' was smirked through a Durban accent in an Ipswich shirt.

Halftime brought an opportunity for the Home side to gather themselves and remind each
other that it is their character that will pull them back into ascendency in this game. So, come the second half whistle, eleven men proudly donning the Badger on their chest resumed their place on the field.

For the following 35 minutes, Broxbourne had a few more moments in the sun, figuratively
speaking - they were out being pounded by the sun for the full 70 minutes, but there were
positive signs of ambitions nonetheless. There were ambitious passing choices, from long-range backhands to moments of close-quarter flair. One chance flashed dangerously across the goal with only a hint of daylight between the ball and the nearest Broxbourne stick. The best chance of the day, however, came from a strike at the top of the circle, drawing a heroic save from an otherwise entirely unoccupied Ipswich goalkeeper.

The game drew to a close leaving two sides weary from the clash. Sadly though, the visitors scored seven unanswered goals.

Next week, Broxbourne shall rebuild their fortress to its former glory and seek redemption as they travel away to Dereham.

Mens 3s vs Blueharts 4 - 3-2 loss
Goal scorers: KP x2
Assists: ALaw & Cranners

Broxbourne hosted a strong Blueharts 4s side in very hot conditions. We were slow out of the blocks, and Blueharts made the better start, seeing more of the ball and creating the clearer chances. They took advantage and raced into a 2–0 lead after 20 minutes.

To our credit, we gradually found our feet. We began to keep the ball better, put together some promising moves and create chances of our own. We couldn’t pull one back before the break, though, and went in 2–0 down.

The second half began at a fast pace, with the game opening up and both sides getting forward. Blueharts struck again around the 40-minute mark to make it 3–0, leaving us with a lot to do. But the response from Broxbourne was excellent. We started to string together our best passages of play, move the ball with purpose and put Blueharts under pressure.

Cranners fed KP, who drove into the D and smashed a reverse-stick shot into the top right corner. It was a brilliant individual goal and gave us the momentum to keep pushing. Our pressure paid off again when A Law found KP at the far post, and he finished to bring us back to 3–2.

We threw everything into the closing stages and kept searching for the equaliser, but couldn’t quite find it. It finished 3–2 to Blueharts after a hard-fought game in difficult conditions.

Everyone put in a shift, and the determination to fight back from 3–0 down says a lot about this team. We’re building each week and will take that second-half performance into next week’s game against Stevenage 2s.

Mens 5s Dev vs Hertford 7 Dev - 4-0 loss

No match report.

Away Fixtures 

Ladies 5s vs Letchworth 5 - 5-0 win
Goal scorers: Tess x3, Milly x2, Rachel
Assists: Milly x2, Lorraine, Shannon, Teagan & Rachel
Player: Teagan & Rachel
Donkey: Tess

A trip to Letchworth on a warm, sunny morning and a sandy pitch, it could have been a team trip to the seaside.
All week we’d been struggling to get enough players so it was lovely to see Teagan back after a summer break from hockey and welcomed Rachel Ellis to help us out (after much persuasion from Lorraine) and Jen was gladly greeted as she had very kindly offered to help us instead of playing for the 4s (club spirt at it’s best).
The match itself was the classic game of 2 halves. It started fairly evenly with both teams building play and getting into their respective D’s. Then Broxbourne began to have more possession with Tess and Rachel dominating the midfield. Daniela remained high to receive through balls and had some shots on goal either to be saved or miss the target. Rachel continued with advances into the D and had some shots and Tess sent in a fantastic cross which Milly couldn’t quite connect with on the left post. Our defence remained in control at the back so we went into halftime at 0-0.
Pleased to not be losing, the talk was more of the same plus a little (actually it was quite big!) rant from Tess about how she used to be a county player so she knows what she’s doing and didn’t want us all to be telling her what to do!
To be honest I’m struggling to remember the finer details of the second half but as mentioned earlier it was a contrast to the first half. 6 goals in fact! All to us! And much to Hannah’s delight – a clean sheet. So basically we dominated, the first 2 goals were from corners, Milly injecting to Tess for a straight strike on goal, Milly on left post from Tess or it could have been Daniella. The third was fantastic strike from Rachel possibly after a great cross from Teagan or a pass from Lorraine. As you can now tell I was getting a bit delirious and being a little bit old as well my memory isn’t great. Anyway we had lots more corners and Tess got 2 more goals. The 6th goal was after some goalmouth action when Shannon passed the ball to Milly who did what she normally does. If it wasn’t for Harrison M keeping a record of scorers and assists I wouldn’t of even be able to write this ramble!!
When we weren’t attacking our defense of Lorraine (we even played her in midfield at one point!) Sharon, Sarah, Jen and Teagan kept Letchworth out of the game with decisive tackles and distributions.
Mentions also go to Aimee for playing out of position (forward) and Skye for her debut match at adult level and being available at the last minute.
Player was shared between Rachel (helping us out under duress and playing very well) and Teagan (great tackling distributions).
Donkey was Tess for her half time rant.

Ladies 2s vs Blueharts 2 - 8-3 win
Goal scorers: Charlotte x6, Millie & Gemma W
Assists: Gemma W x2, Charlotte, Millie, Ella, Wilsy & Em x2
Player: Charlotte
Donkey: Wilsy

The Broxbourne Badgers 2nd XI continued their perfect start to the season with an 8–3 victory away at Blueharts in the late September sun.

With numbers low, the Badgers were forced into desperate measures this week, calling veteran Em Wilkins out of retirement.
On arrival, Wilkins was dismayed to discover that her customary appearance fee had been cut by Finance Manager Lisa Banahan as part of the latest budget reductions. With her usual income stream suddenly dried up, Wilkins has been left to explore increasingly creative ways to keep the care home coffers topped up and ensure the bills continued to be paid.

Meanwhile, Millie Leonard was finally granted permission to fulfil her lifelong dream of playing up front, after years of being cruelly held back in defence.

No one started more enthusiastically than the Blueharts coach, whose repeated cries of “LETS GO HUNT!” almost caused the Badgers to reconsider their life choices.

Fortunately, the Badgers remained cool under pressure.

They started brightly, linking passes together and looking threatening from the off and it wasn't long before Broxbourne opened the scoring. Charlotte Hartwig-Green coolly slotting home a near-post finish.

And that was to become something of a theme.

The Badgers never looked particularly troubled, continuing to capitalise on Blueharts' somewhat bizarre tactical decision to all out attack rather than defend against a team that had clearly arrived with goals on the agenda.

Hartwig-Green bagged another. Gemma Wilkinson got herself on the scoresheet, somehow managing to avoid the crossbar in the process, before Millie Leonard produced the moment she'd been waiting years for: a goal from up front. Not content with an easy tap in, Leonard decided to drift further away from the goal, narrowing the angle before shoving the ball home. Critics silenced.

Blueharts did manage to pull one back just before half time, converting a short corner with a lifted strike into the bottom corner.

Half time: Blueharts 1–4 Broxbourne.

The second half was more of the same.

With Blueharts choosing to defend high, Broxbourne happily made use of the long ball, repeatedly finding space behind the defensive line. The forwards were then left with the simple task of creating 2-v-1 situations against the keeper — exactly the sort of tactical problem the Badgers were happy to solve.

And then there was Charlotte Hartwig-Green.

The forward showed dogged determination; repeatedly intercepting and turning over the right back, creating chance after chance, eventually finishing with a quite remarkable six goals. A true masterclass in forward play and thoroughly deserved after an outstanding performance.

As the temperature continued to rise, the Badgers began to wilt a little. With just one substitute compared to Blueharts' five, the final stages became increasingly about survival rather than style (especially for the older, more dehydrated members of the team).
Blueharts managed to add a couple of late goals in the final five minutes, but the Badgers weren't overly concerned.

The job had already been done.

Final score: Blueharts 3-8 Broxbourne Badgers.

Three games. Three wins. Top of the table.

The Badgers now return to home turf next week, where they'll be hoping to bring in the crowds, continue their winning run and perhaps convince a few more retired players to come out of hiding.
Let's go Badgers!

Mens 2s vs Blueharts 5 - 5-1 win
Goal scorers: Sam S x2, Angus, Browny, Baller
Assists: Browny, Baller, Angus, Jack, Lance
Player: Fresh & Browny
Donkey: Fresh

The fog hung over Lucas Lane like cold sweat on a dead man’s brow.

Hitchin had that quiet, deceptive stillness about it—the kind of Derry-esque silence where you half-expect a lone red balloon to drift out of the team dugout. But it wasn’t an ancient cosmic spider awaiting Broxbourne Men’s 2s this Saturday. It was Blueharts Men’s 5s.

Things began with a deceptively sweet omen. Broxbourne drew first blood, sharp and merciless, slicing through the mist to notch an early lead. But evil, as any seasoned Derry denizen knows, rarely lies down that easily.

Before the break, Blueharts clawed their way back out of the dirt. One-all. A dead heat at the interval, the psychological dread settling into the damp fabric of our shirts like an itch under a plaster cast.

The second half arrived, and the game lurched into the surreal. Broxbourne dragged themselves ahead to make it 2-1, but the real nightmare was brewing in the pocket of the man with the whistle.

Call it cosmic dread. Call it the dark, incomprehensible geometry of local hockey officiating. What occurred next can only be described as an act of deeply exotic umpiring.

Fresh found himself in the crosshairs. What started as an obscure, muffled green card abruptly mutated—like a creature in the Pet Sematary pit—into a full-blown, blistering ten-minute yellow. Banished. Cast out into the cold sidelines, a solitary figure watching the madness unfold in exile.

Yet, pain often awakens strange powers. Down a man, the remaining ten Broxbourne souls didn't fold; they snapped into sharp focus. The tactical banishment of Fresh served as the dark catalyst the machine required.

Broxbourne stopped wandering blindly and started playing proper, clinical hockey.
The goals followed in relentless, bloody succession. Nelson prowled the attacking third like a shape-shifter with a hunger, burying two clinical strikes. Gus added his name to the grim ledger, followed by Baller, who struck with cold certainty.

When Browny unleashed his newly minted, sky-scraping aerial—a thing of unnatural, gravity-defying terror—the rout was sealed.

Final tally: 5-1. The horrors vanquished, the points secured.

Back in the safety of the clubhouse, the spoils were divided. Joint Man of the Match honors were awarded to Browny—for demonstrating that a hockey ball can, in fact, briefly achieve low Earth orbit—and to Fresh, whose sacrificial ten-minute exile accidentally woke the beast and saved the day.

As for Dick of the Day, the finger pointed squarely at Fresh. However, we must strongly urge the public not to trust the mainstream narrative. Rumors abound of rigged ballots, illegal mail-in votes from the changing rooms, and corrupted counting machines. A massive, beautiful, Trump-style investigation has already been launched. When the legal observers look into the tremendous fraud surrounding this vote, the truth will come out.

Until next week, keep your shinpads taped and beware the dark whistle.

Ladies 4s vs Chiltern 1 - 4-1 win
Goal scorers: Jo x3, Katie H
Assists: Jo, Katie, Bryony, Annie
Player: Katie
Donkey: Bryony & Lisa

Broxbourne traveled to Bedford to take on Chiltern, kicking off the day with a quick pre-match photoshoot before explosive action on the pitch. The match opened with a bang as Broxbourne struck twice in the first five minutes. The opener was a beautiful team effort touched by all three forwards, with Katie—later named Man of the Match—applying the clinical finish.
Broxbourne continued to dominate through great teamwork between Rachel and Katie, alongside crisp distribution from Annie. Jo’s relentless battling up front was rewarded with two first-half goals to build a commanding lead.
The second half brought a momentary hiccup when Bryony earned Donkey of the Match by forgetting that the post player on a short corner is meant to stop the ball, not let it drift through. Luckily, the midfield responded immediately to reclaim possession and feed Jo, who slotted home her hat-trick goal. The final 15 minutes saw non-stop running from the midfield as the play went end-to-end, sealing a brilliant 4–1 team victory. To top off a great day out, the team celebrated over teas at a local garden centre.

Ladies 1s vs Chelmsford 1 - 0-0 draw
Player: Lily
Donkey: Jess (green card)

A Marathon, a Sahara, 15 Short Corners and Absolutely No Goals

Broxbourne Ladies 1's, should have been confident off the back of an 8/0 win last week at home, but this week arrived a little thin on the ground with only 12 players to play Chelms ladies 1s with a lunchtime pushback. The 21 degree September sun felt more like 35 for the pre match team talk with coach Az who promised he would do the worm for every goal scored.

Spoiler alert: Az remains worm-free.

Captain Ellie turned up post team talk (late) in one space bun (which only earned her one donkey vote this week) just in time for the game and saving us from a bare 11 on the pitch.

Onto the game..

Seeing as there were no subs, it felt like the midfield - Owl, Darcy and Lydia and nads were running a marathon in the sahara, with Ellie and Jess making leads up the top as forwards. Jess selflessly in an attempt to help the mids tracked back with a Chelmsford player and put her life on the line to stop a savage attack on broxbourne and in doing so, got a green card, and subsequently a 2 minute sin bin. In the heat and with a lack of subs, these 2 minutes re energised Jess and she came back better to help the squad. The team weren't understanding Jess's tactical genius, and later voted her donkey of the day (traitor) for wanting two mins rest in the form of a card. (who's the real traitor here?!).

The game ended as a nil pois extravaganza, with injured Lara on the sidelines commenting that it was 'the most exciting game she had ever seen'. The goalie support squad totted up a total of 15 short corners in Chelmsford's favour, however they were unable to convert any of these chances - Emily later attested this to a rock solid defence. after GK lily's lack of game time last week (one touch on the ball), she was put to work this week which later earned her player of the match. special mention to Cate, twins emily and katherine, newly engaged meg t and spike who were faultless in defence.

Teas review - chicken salad wrap was 'nice'. al said the donuts represented the nil nil draw. exciting stuff. Votes for skipp and ellie for donkey, but space buns for Jess next week against cambridge city 2s at home. Votes for Al and cate for player, but majority vote went to GK Lil for keeping us in the game and getting that all important point!

0–0. Fifteen short corners. One point. Zero worms.

Mens 4s vs Potters Bar 3 Dev - 4-1 win
Goal scorers: Ollie W x2, Phil W & Harrison M
Assists: Harrison M, Kevin House, Ollie B
Player: Ollie W
Cards: Phil W (Green)

The Men’s 4’s returned to action away to a Potters Bar “development” side who only had 4 youngsters in their squad.

Although only deemed a a friendly and no points up for grabs, Brox still needed to bounce back from a poor result last week and play the way we know we can

Still missing important players who were away enjoying holidays.

Ryan BA returned between the sticks and Luke dropped back into defence after being loaned to the 3’s last weekend

Rich Mellor and his convincing pleas to brother Trev helped re strengthen the side.
Phil W also available and gave options up top.

Due to an iffy back, captain Moorhouse needed an insurance policy - this was found in the form of legend Kev House.
Remainder of the squad was up of the usual suspects

Game started brightly with some good movement of the ball.
The experience of Trev and Kev started on the side to analyse the early parts of the game.

All went sideways when the home team took the lead - a mix up in the D and a suspect ball to a foot saw a frustrating goal conceded.

A slight inconsistency in umpiring saw Phil W receive a green card, when politely questioning a high hit ball from the home side. Brox were pulled up for exactly the same thing a few minutes earlier with a free hit awarded and a warning
The 2nd umpire had to intervene as Phil was still showing his frustration on the sideline. Thankfully Daniela / Trev and Kev helped calm things down

Game continued and Brox gradually increased the tempo. Phil returned to the pitch to even up the numbers again

Thankfully in the 20th minute Brox got a well earned equaliser from Harrison M

Brox continued to take control of the game. Daniela ( supporter and designated driver should captain Moorhouse’s back give up during the game ) continued to ask Trev and Kev whether they fancied taking part in the game ?
Trev came on in midfield for his first hockey involvement since the final game of last season, instantly dictating the play

Kev House also made a return to the field in the heart of defence replacing the broken Captain Moorhouse

Wanting to avenge the Green card debacle, Phil put the visitors in front with a fine goal, assisted by Kev House

Half time came and positive words from Jason and Rich encouraged more of the same in the 2nd half

Game restarted and some fine passing from midfield duo of Danny and Ollie B, linking up with Joseph and Ollie W on the right side.
Within 3 mins of the restart, Ollie W made scoreline 3-1 with an assist from Harrison

Not wanting to take the foot off the pedal, Broxbourne continued to create chances

The home side tried to rally, but anything pumped through the middle was picked out by Rich / Kev and Luke

Brox scored a 4th ! A link up between the Ollie’s, saw Brown set up Wilkinson for his 2nd goal of the game

The game finished 4 - 1
And a great performance from everyone. And some momentum to take into the home fixture next weekend.

Coming up next weekend…

Saturday 3rd October
Home Fixtures
10am - Ladies 2s vs Berko & Hemel 1
11.30am - Mens 2s vs Bedford 4
1.30pm - Ladies 1s vs Cambridge City 2
3pm - Mens 4s vs Blueharts 9
4.30pm - Ladies 5s vs Blueharts 7

Away Fixtures
10.30am - Ladies 4s vs Blueharts 6
10.30am - Mens 5s Dev vs Southgate 7 Dev
11.30am - Ladies 3s vs WGC 1
12pm - Mens 1s vs Dereham 1
2.30pm - Mens 3s vs Stevenage 2

Upcoming Matches