Ladies 5s vs Berkhamsted & Hemel 4 - 3-0 win
Goal scorers: Katie H, Daniela & Tess
Assists: Bryony & Daniela x2
Player: Sofia (first adult game)
Donkey: Tess

Roll up roll up! Welcome to the match report detailing the Ladies 5s 3rd clean sheet! Threes all round with a grand total of a 3-0 win!

No one was more surprised than the ladies themselves but no spoilers just yet.

The day started with majority of the players being present for the team talk but Tess and her stick were nowhere to be seen. Shortly after Tess rolled around but her stick not making the cut, the ladies took the slip and slide route to the pitch. Battling the triple threat of wind, rain and BHHHC, the 5s were thankfully coached by the badger’s very own Em Wilkins who directed the girls through what can only be described as the most frustrating first half known in Badger history. Through the previously mentioned dynamic duo of wind and rain, the 5s fought off 3 short corners within the first 10 minutes! The defence said a prayer and reminded Hannah of her previously broken vow of celibacy, none more nervous than the captain/goalie, the ladies battled against the odds and blocked all incoming shots! Lorraine kindly reminded Hannah to keep her legs closed, Bryony made her shot predictions and Tess was reminded by all to not run until told while wearing Sharon’s mask (thief!) The first half ended with a 1-0 win due to a goal at the 8 minute mark from Katie and an assist from Daniela. The team kept their cool and tried to fend off the first goal jitters which usually kickstarts the curse of more goals, unfortunately for either team.

After a pick-me-up from Coach Em, the ladies 5s bounced back onto the pitch chanting “heads up, sticks down.” The team were in high spirits but kept their heads up and Hannah’s celibacy intact in hopes of a clean sheet. Hannah does want it noted that she did pull her weight and saved a total of 5 goals! Wow… Defenders Lorraine, Caitlyn, Bryony and Sharon however saved many more! Midfield (Sofia, Tess Annie Q and Shannon had one of the toughest games this season with little rest under Coach Em’s tutelage they were able to hold the fort and give the forwards (Milly S, Daniela, Katie H and Mia) many opportunities at the goal. One such opportunity left Daniela fighting with gravity and went full force over the opposition’s goalie. This somehow was passed over as a donkey moment. Vice Milly S could not seem to land a goal despite sticking tight to her favourite post position. However Daniela landed her second assist with Tess bringing the score up to 2-0 at 61 minutes! The final score came at 3-0 with Daniela bagging a goal of her own and an assist from Bryony, those that have them in their fantasy teams will be pleased with those points!

Player went to Sofia for her first adult game and giving the fully grown opposition players a run for their money. Other votes went to Tess, Annie and Katie.
Donkey of course went to stickless Tess. I wonder what her next donkey will be for? Stay tuned for next week’s match report to find out.

Mens 2s vs Welwyn Garden City 1 - 2-0 loss
Player: Fin
Donkey: Baller

The WGC curse strikes again!

The men’s 2’s were buoyed by a squad bulging with attacking flare ahead of welcoming local rivals Welwyn Garden City to badger field.
Angus making a rare appearance, albeit a late one on the day adding to a rotating forward that included proven goal scorer, KP, youthful Wyatt and plucky Nelson meant that seasoned 2nd team top scorer, Baller dropped a little deeper into an attacking midfield role. Despite losing young Thomas Hopson to the first team the Badgers were boosted with club chairman Josh passing a late fitness test on his return from long term injury to provide extra cover in the defensive line. With the rare luxury of having 3 subs we were all set to take the game to WGC and dominate this fixture in our own backyard.

However, frustratingly we were slow out of the blocks with WGC dominating the early exchanges and forcing veteran keeper Ford into a number of fines saves. As the first half progressed, we started to work our way into the match, gaining more possession, creating a number of chances, and testing the WGC keeper. However, the more possession we gained and the more time we spent in the oppositions half the more vulnerable we looked on the break with stalwart Satwick and veteran Ellis having to make a series of well-timed tackles. Eventually the deadlock was broken with WGC scoring a well worked short corner.

Interim skipper Browny asked for an extra 10% from everyone as we headed into the second half and the lads duly stepped up. Fine work for young Wilkinson ghosting down the left flank ended in a good attempt on goal that was well saved. The Badgers continued to create several chances and won a series of short corners but a combination of some lacklustre finishing and some good goalkeeper meant we couldn’t break the WGC defence. As we continued to push, we left ourselves susceptible to the break and despite Keeper Ford making a worldy save he could do nothing to stop WGC’s second, a well taken poacher’s goal.

With 18 mins still to play the badgers kept pushing and nearly got on the scoresheet when Satwick fired a well disguised pass into the D for Brown to deflect with the keeper somehow managing to get something on it. The writing was on the wall when we won our 7th short corner of the match, Chapman made the call, “left slip off Browny to Angus, but Angus DON’T shoot and miss again, go far post where I’ll be waiting” the routine was executed only for the runner to charge down the first shot, the ball fell to top scorer Baller 2 foot inside the D he flicked at pace only find the crown jewels of the onrushing Chapman who was true to his word and waiting sprawled on deck in front of the keeper. The unfortunate incident meant that the Chairman had to leave the field and the rest of us left questioning if he had been involved the “injection” scandal that had broken in the winter Olympics the day before!

All in all, a thoroughly frustrating afternoon and the dreaded WGC curse continues.

Ladies 1s vs Chelmsford 1 - 2-2 draw
Goal scorers: Becky x2
Assists: Willsy
Player: Martha
Donkey: Paris

Following a confidence-boosting win against Ipswich last week, the Badgers came into their home fixture against Chelmsford full of energy and ready for another tough challenge. With strong support on the sidelines and a familiar pitch underfoot, the team settled quickly into the game.

The Badgers showed real intent going forward, earning several penalty corners through sustained pressure in the attacking circle. It was from these moments that the breakthrough came, with Bench stepping up confidently to convert from a short corner. The team continued to push, moving the ball well through the lines and creating chances. Tor’s intelligent and relentless line running caused constant problems for the Chelmsford defence, while Hallie and Martha impressed with their skillful 1v1s, carrying the ball up the pitch and driving play forward.

Unfortunately, just before the half-time whistle, Chelmsford converted from open play, bringing the score level at 1–1 going into the break.

Some words of wisdom and areas of focus from Az, ensured we came out fighting in the second half.

The Badgers started strong, with a number of frantic scrambles in front of the Chelmsford goal that had the home crowd holding their breath. Eventually, another penalty corner fell in our favour and once again Bench stepped up to the plate, converting a fantastic strike from the top of the circle to put us back in the lead.

The Badgers came agonisingly close to extending that lead when Paris struck the post in a moment that felt inches away from glory.

In the closing stages of the game, Chelmsford were awarded a penalty corner and managed to convert, snatching a late equaliser and adding a dramatic finish to an already gripping contest.

There were plenty of votes for Player of the Match after a strong all-round team performance, but Martha came out on top following some tenacious play in midfield. Paris won herself donkey for brining the opposition and arguably one of their best players.

Overall, there were plenty of positives for the Badgers to take forward into their next fixture in two weeks’ time, following a well-earned mid-season break.

Mens 1s Harleston Magpies 1 - 5-4 win
Goal scorers: Sam W x2, Toby, Sam G & Tom DS
Assists: Hoppo x2, Sam W x2 & Stan
Player: Tom DS & George
Donkey: Stan
Cards: Stan (green, yellow)

Match report pending.

Away Fixtures

Ladies 3s vs Hertford 2 - 2-1 loss
Goal scorer: Jane
Assist: Grace K
Player: Grace K
Donkey: Tors

It was always destined to be a tight contest, but Broxbourne Ladies 3s arrived ready for the battle. The preparation, however, was far from straightforward. After a scenic trek to the clubhouse, Grace and Olivia discovered the changing facilities were locked. Undeterred—and with admirable commitment to punctuality—they ignored all sensible instructions and commandeered the swimming pool area to get match‑ready. Needs must.

Warm‑up entertainment was plentiful. Lauren’s new hair colour blended so perfectly with the pitch markings that she briefly vanished from sight, camouflaged like a seasoned professional. Isla, meanwhile, continued her weekly tradition of accidental comedy by announcing she does not own a coat with a hood. Her solution? Tying a jumper around her head like a makeshift bonnet, despite the looming rain. Tors joined the questionable‑headwear club, stepping onto the pitch in a vibrant bobble hat until Tara—quite reasonably—asked whether she planned to play the entire match in it.

Once the whistle blew, Broxbourne settled quickly. Slick passing, disciplined structure, and some excellent defending kept Hertford at bay. The Badgers controlled much of the first half but couldn’t quite convert their chances, heading into the break at 0–0.

Hertford struck first after the restart, finding a way through despite Broxbourne’s efforts. The goal lit a fire under the home side, who surged forward with renewed determination. Their persistence paid off when Grace unleashed a cracking ball into the D, where Jane Fixter produced what can only be described as the deflection of the season. It was so clean that half the team assumed it must have been an own goal—but no, it was very much the right Fixter for the job. Bravo, Jane.

Moments later, Jane was forced off with a back issue. Whether this was genuine or simply a cunning ploy to make her dinner reservation in London remains under investigation.

Broxbourne continued to battle, but Hertford’s young legs and relentless energy earned them a short corner, which they converted to retake the lead. Despite multiple late attacks and sustained pressure, Broxbourne couldn’t quite find the equaliser.

Final score: Hertford 2 – 1 Broxbourne.

A frustrating result, but a performance full of grit, humour, and classic Broxbourne chaos. Onwards to next week’s adventure.

Ladies 4s vs Bedford 6 - 2-1 loss
Goal scorer: Jo A
Assist: Kirsty B
Player: Jo A
Donkey: Annie

With the league table as unpredictable as a badly laid set of points — where even 4th place isn’t safe from being shunted into relegation — Broxbourne set off up the line to Bedford with just 11 really useful engines. There was some debate about packing passports for the journey up the M1… as it felt a very long way from home.

The team rolled into Kapford Station (AKA Bedford) where Annie Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends disembarked for a pre match team talk on the platform. No sooner had we puffed onto the pitch for the warm up, Annie secured an early DOD nomination, wandering over to the home dugout to point out that according to the timetable the away team should be on the right… or was it the left?
This bit of early confusion set the tone.
From the first whistle, the match accelerated to full speed, with both sides knowing exactly what lay ahead at the junction.
Broxbourne showed some excellent attacking steam early doors. Ivy, sporting her finest railway-chic headwear (bandana), intercepted smartly and drove forward down the track. Unfortunately, the release brake was locked on and she ran straight into Bedford’s buffer stop before any other carriages could be coupled on.
At the back, the defensive line stood firm, calmly shunting shots off the rails. Alisha made it very clear she was the end of the line, ensuring nothing got through — most notably in the second half when one Bedford player met her at full speed and was comprehensively derailed (oops).
Back to the first half, Bedford managed to puff one over the line. But just ten minutes later, Broxbourne answered back. A brilliant run down the track from Kirsty saw the ball fed into the top of the D, where Jo lifted it over the low defensive block and fired a bouncing shot goal-bound. No need for a replay from the control room — it went in. Level pegging.
Broxbourne nearly pulled ahead via a couple of short corners: one shunted wide, and another deflected high into the air for Annie to strike towards goal. There were plenty of raised eyebrows in the carriage about whether it crossed the line, but the decision stayed put.
Midfield control in the first half was firmly in the hands of our very own Sir Topham Hatt (Ella ). The Bedford 11 could be heard calling over the tanoy to “stop the playmaker, she is controlling the game"…
(Where the Fat Controller/Thomas theme for this match report was initiated)

Unfortunately for them, she stayed firmly on schedule in the second half too.
1–1 at half time.
Second half summary — short, sweet, and slightly wheezy…
We simply ran out of steam. Eleven sets of wheels were running low on coal, fuel tanks emptying fast, and a few engines required unscheduled stops in the depot for maintenance. Bedford found another goal, and despite our best efforts, the final whistle blew at 2–1 to the home side.
Back to the station for some well-earned teas, and the final reviews from the engine shed:
• Washroom facilities: 10/10 — freshly refurbished and cleaner than a showroom locomotive
• Teas: 9/10 — warm and welcome, but served on tiny plates better suited to a quiet branch line than a busy London terminus.
Wooden cutlery gets a big eco thumbs-up… though not from Kirsty’s tongue.

Mens 4s vs Letchworth 5 - 1-1 draw
Goal scorer: Ollie W
Assist: Harrison M
Player: Joseph G
Donkey: Ryan BA
Cards: Paul Stapes (green)

Another well shuffled men's 4's headed off to Letchworth for a mid day push back.
The Rain decided to tag along for what was going to be another tight game.

Although losing 3-1 at home to their opponents following a bad day at the office, the league positioning suggested this was going to fixture with all to play for.

Luke and Symon P joined Noah and Kieran P to support the 3's leaving a large void to fill

Thankfully, as always, The Wilkinson's, Fresh and Ollie were on hand to help get the squad up to 13.
Even though they had a 5's immediately after

Back came Stapes senior to bolster our attacking options as well as Andy Harris to strengthen the back line.

As always, the 4's DOD was awarded before the match, with Ryan leaving his stick at the Broxbourne club house
Thankfully, there's always a spare in Captain Moorhouse's boot.

The game got underway.

Some good movement from the away team, put down to the experience in the spine of the starting 11.
Fresh at the back, Trev Mellor and Stapes senior in the middle and Andy Bourke up top.

The home team's back line appeared to have brought their golf clubs rather than their hockey sticks, swinging and smashing every ball up the pitch to no avail.

Broxbourne continued to build pressure using their youthful wingers, Harrison M and Henry S to stretch Letchworth

Finally after 18mins, the deadlock was broken.
An assist in the D from Harrison M set up Ollie W for a tap in - 1 nil to Broxbourne

Letchworth won themselves a short and converted, only for the goal to be chalked of. Fresh noticed the ball had been injected from the wrong position and appealed.
The umpires had a chat and a huge sigh of relief

Some nice link up play down the right between MOM Joseph G and Henry
unfortunately Moorhouse Senior struggled to feed Moorhouse Junior in the same way.

As the Game progressed, the home team tried to claw one back, but Brox held their own and kept things as they were until the half time whistle.

Another positive half time chat shared by Trev, Fresh and Stapes.

2nd half started pretty much the same, but gradually the home team started putting some pressure on.

The tension was building. Some petty comments were made towards the Broxbourne players, as well as suspect challenges from the home team. Obviously trying to get into the heads of the Broxbourne players.
Thankfully, Fresh held his cool

With the game heading for a well earned 3 points, the decisions started to go against the Broxbourne team.

A short corner awarded to the home team 4 minutes from the end and unfortunately for Broxbourne the score was brought level.

30 seconds from the final whistle, Stapes senior gained a green card for kindly asking the umpire why he was pulled up for being harshly tackled ?

Another disappointing result, but a point gained.

The draw was a tough one to take, but again positives were there to be seen.

Fresh / Ollie W / Jason / Harrison / Henry / Ryan then swiftly made hast to get over to Queenswood school for the 5's fixture

Again, an absolute pleasure to captain this great group of players.

Ladies 2s vs Old Loughtonians 2 - 2-1 loss
Goal scorer: Sophie
Assist: Evie
Player: Emily R
Donkey: Sophie & Evie

Away at Old Loughts, things kicked off in true Badger fashion with Emily and Hannah being late… and absolutely nobody noticing. Once we were underway though, we were flying — slick passing, solid structure, and everyone playing their part, while the opposition decided aggression and arguing with the umpire was their main tactic. The main takeaway from the first half was Gem smashing in a brilliant goal that was cruelly disallowed (we will never forget), but we kept pushing. Second half energy stayed high, with Emily R and Grace C putting in an absolutely unreal defensive masterclass and Sophie skilling past players like they were training cones. Congrats to Emily for extraordinary tackles banking herself player of the match. Then came the moment — Evie danced past defenders, slipped the ball to Sophie, and she finished it off. The goal itself was great… but let’s be honest, the celebration from Evie and Sophie was even better and officially clears every celebration we’ve ever seen. (they got donkey for their celebration because it was so good). To finish it all off, match tea raised more questions than answers, mainly why there were so many hairs in the burger. Classic away day.

Mens 3s vs Rickmansworth 1 - 3-0 win
Goal scorers: Harrison L, Jake & Russ
Assists: Stu x2 & James DS
Player: Luke
Donkey: AJ
Cards: Luke H & James DS (green)

Off we toddled to Rickmansworth:
The M3s went on a big, long car ride all the way around the M25 to Rickmansworth for a lunchtime game. After a bad experience last week, the boys wanted to show everyone they could stand up tall again. But oh no! Some of the squad were playing truent, some were feeling icky, and one even had a disagreement with a big choo-choo train!
Luckily, we called Jase and the M4s for a playdate. Luke and SP joined our gang, giving us 12 brave players ready to go.
The First Half: learning steps -
Captain Si set the team up in a 4-4-2 shape, just like building blocks. Cranners and Russ told everyone to use their "listening ears" and play simple hockey.
Rickmansworth was a bit pushy at first, but our defense stayed strong (no crying!).
By snack time (halftime), it was 0-0.
The big instruction for the second half? Use your loud voices! If you want the ball, you have to shout for it!
The Second Half: Goals and Grumbles -
It didn't take long for the M3s to find their groove. James went on a "mazing" run—zoom, zoom, zoom! Instead of keeping the toy for himself, he shared the ball with Harrison, who tucked it away. 1-0!
Then, things got a little bit grumpy. Some of the boys needed a "time out":
• Luke got a green card for a back-stick. It was as obvious as a stinky nappy!
• James got a green card too for a little elbow-shove (big bully!).
Once everyone calmed down and Stu went back to his spot in the middle, the M3s scored two goals in two minutes! Stu was the bestest helper, giving "clinical" passes to Russ and Jake who finished the job. One Rickmansworth player was very cross, shouting that Stu had just "toddled his way into the D!"
The Final Score -
Despite some late-game wobbles and a few more sicky people in Russ and Elliot, the M3s kept a clean sheet.
Final Score: 3-0! (Yay, us!)
Man of the Match: Luke, who played very well even though he had to sit on the naughty step for a couple of minutes.

Mens 5s vs Potters Bar 3 Dev - 0-0 draw
Player: Sam F
Donkey: Fresh
Cards: Fresh (green)

No match report.

Coming up this weekend…

Saturday 14th February

Home Fixtures
10.30am - Ladies 5s vs Blueharts 6
12pm - Mens 2s vs Stevenage 1

Away Fixtures
11.30am - Ladies 3s vs Blueharts 2
3pm - Ladies 4s vs Blueharts 5
3.30pm - Mens 1s vs Cambridge City 1