Still emotionally recovering from our unexpected fame in Chelmsford, the Badgers have been determined to prove that missing one flick doesn’t make us washed up, it just gave us a rinse in the spotlight.

Since that fateful day, the Badgers have been spin cycling through opponents unbeaten, and after last week’s win against Cambridge City 2s, we were ready to tumble our way to another three points.

Things didn’t start entirely smoothly, though. Arriving at 10am, the squad was split between aspiring influencers and those still suffering PTSD. Wilkins, Chapman, Wheadon, Ker, Spike, HG, Squashy, Welsh and House were all ready to risk it again for £5, while the rest wisely chose peace. Sadly, the resulting video didn’t exactly rinse the algorithm, we’ll remain un viral for another week.

Welsh pre game freshness took the “clean sheet” theme a bit too literally discovering 30 minutes before meet time that her kit was still mid spin rather than mid dry. She then spent the team talk blow drying her shirt like she was backstage at London Fashion Week. For that performance, she rightfully earned herself Donkey of the Day.

Once the washing dramas were behind us, the Badgers were fully loaded and ready to spin into action.

After a slick warm up and first pushback, our back line Scarrot, H, Chappers and Spike started strong, distributing with precision to midfield dynamos Ker, Willz, House and Luka. The Tangerine Army won a few early short corners, but Squashy wasn’t having any of it, keeping her goal sealed tighter than Welsh’s washing machine door.

Once we found our rhythm, the Badgers started humming like a Bosch on a 1600rpm spin cycle. Our forwards, Wilkins, Saywell, Gasson, HG, Wheadon and Welsh piled on the pressure, with multiple near misses in the first quarter. Eventually, Meg Saywell won us a short corner, allowing Top scorer Wilkins to then smashed home a goal just before halftime, assisted by none other than our now semi famous Dr Willz.

Momentum built like detergent foam, with Meg Saywell leaving the keeper out to dry & making it 2–0 before sprinting off to her second match of the day.

In the final quarter, the Tangerines started to fade like someone forgot the colour catcher while the Badgers stayed fresher than a Lenor scent booster. Ex-striker Spike sealed the deal with a tidy finish from a Gasson assist, wrapping up a 3–0 win, clean sheets, and another three points to add to our sparkling record.

The Badgers now sit third in the table, with second having a game in hand , but if we keep up this form, we’ll be rinsing our way to promotion in no time, leaving the rest of the league hung out to dry.

Mens 2s vs St Albans 4 - 2-1 loss
Goal scorer: Baller
Assist: Tom H
Player: Baller & Tom
Donkey: Jack

“Hope is a dangerous thing, hope can drive a man insane.” It turns out Ellis Redding knew what he was talking about. Following their first win of the season last week Broxbourne 2’s headed into Saturday’s match with fellow strugglers St Albans 4’s full of hope. By end they were brought back down to earth with a bump after a disappointing 2-1 defeat at Badger Field.

The hope was further increased by captain Jack Price’s cryptic teamsheet, a mysterious TBC was added as 14th name. The 2’s mind’s started fantasising, which 1’s player would be honouring us with their presence? Maybe one of the elite Haileybury teachers could only do 1pm at home. In hindsight the clues were there already, former 2’s player PC Matt Rudd made an unexpected appearance at training on Tuesday and duly strode in last to the changing room before the game.

The Badgers made a strong start and forced the St Albans keeper into a number of saves. In what has become the story of the season, the failure to convert was punished and the Badgers then conceded a soft goal defensively to fall 1-0 down after 10 minutes. Broxbourne were disappointed that a clear foot by a St Albans forward was not owned up to in the lead up to the goal. The home side had previously been very honest themselves owning up to a couple of their own that had been missed by the umpire. Defender Alex Satwick made his feelings clear on this policy with a rant that can’t be printed word for word as this a family publication.

The goal seemed to panic the home side, the rest of the half was a frantic affair with little structure and possession constantly turned over.

Disaster struck on the stroke of halftime, Alex O’Sullivan and Bobby Dyer were not quite on the same page for a side line hit, the ball was lost and St Albans doubled their lead as the half time whistle blew.

The second half was an end to end contest with the Badgers committing more men forward looking for a way back into the game. They were given hope when Dan Ball’s excellent display was rewarded with a goal, his pin point strike from the top of the D found the bottom corner.

With 20 minutes to go the Badgers threw everything at finding an equaliser leaving themselves open to conceding a third. Some fine defending by young Thomas Hopson helped to keep the visitors lead to a single goal.

At the other end Broxbourne huffed and puffed but unfortunately found a goalie and defense made of brick rather than straw. In the closing moments veteran midfielder Alex Brown went close with a well timed deflection and Price forced the keeper into a save onto the post.

It was not to be however as the visitors held on to leave Badger Field with the crucial three points.

Next week Broxbourne hit the road for game at Potters Bar hoping to get back on track, hoping Andy Dufresne was right: “hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

Ladies 4s vs Hertford 4 - 1-1 draw
Goal scorer: Rosie
Assist: Jo A
Player: Sam
Donkey: Rosie

Broxbourne Ladies 4s welcomed Hertford this weekend for a tough and hard-fought encounter. From the first whistle, both teams showed determination, teamwork, and a real hunger for the win.

Broxbourne made some excellent attacking runs and earned several short corners but couldn’t quite convert until the 27th minute. Jo delivered a brilliant pass to Rosie, who slotted it home to put Broxbourne ahead. However, Hertford responded swiftly with a well-worked goal, bringing the score to 1-1 at half-time.

After a motivating team talk from Em, urging the team to keep the width and continue playing the great hockey they’d started with, the Badgers came out strong in the second half. (thanks for supporting us Em) Both sides continued to battle for dominance, with chances created at both ends. Tor Chapman had a superb game in goal, making some crucial saves – a huge thank you to Tor for stepping in and helping us out!

Broxbourne were unlucky not to take the lead again when the ball hit the backboard, only to be disallowed due to a foot in the build-up. The match remained competitive throughout, with both teams fighting hard in midfield and pushing forward.

Standout performances came from Jazymne and Rachael, who covered immense ground and kept up relentless running from start to finish. Sam was a powerhouse in her first game of the season, showing strength and composure in midfield to keep Hertford under pressure.

Despite several close opportunities, neither side could find the winning goal, and the match ended in a well-deserved 1-1 draw – a fair reflection of the strong team efforts from both sides.

Player of the Match: Sam – for her outstanding effort, tackles, and interceptions.
Donkey: Rosie – for leaving the pitch to tie her shoelace… and then staying off to play with the dog!

Away Fixtures

Ladies 5s vs Potters Bar 1 - 5-0 loss
Player: Francesca
Donkey: Mia

The ladies 5s took a short trip to Queenswood to face the mighty Potters Bar. Many members were shocked to find captain Hannah G sat in the changing room, whiteboard in hand, at 12:25! With two trainers and an abundance of energy, she prepped the girls for what was set to be a difficult game. The game was foreshadowed by Mia earning herself donkey with a headbutt to an unsuspecting pole pre-team talk.

The team strolled onto the pitch manefesting a week without injuries, and high hopes. Unfortunately, this all came crashing down with Potters Bar gaining a 2-0 lead in under 5 minutes. In true 5s fashion the passion and speed picked up after a wake-up call with only reaching 3-0 at the end of the first half.

The team talk was a flurry of harsh words and well placed advice, but something must have stuck as the second half awarded the girls many shots at the goal including some well earned short corners! Unfortunately, the final score was settled at 5-0 (to be contested between Specsavers and the umpires).

Honourable emotions to Lorraine, Teagan and Caitlyn for giving the Potters attackers a hard time.
Sarah BA, Olivia S, Maisie and Imogen for holding their ground in midfield. We appreciate your stamina!
And Milly S, Katie H and Sharon W for holding the frontline!

Player was awarded to Francesca for two consecutive short corner saves on the line.

Ladies 3s vs Bishop's Stortford 4 - 1-0 win
Goal scorer: Olivia
Assist: Laura
Player: Emma
Donkey: Hannah

The Badgers were back on the road this weekend, travelling to Bishops Stortford for what we knew would be a tough encounter - especially when we turned up and spotted Leanne between the posts for the opposition! Still, with the Fixter duo returning fresh from a family gathering and a guest appearance from Cat, confidence was high in the Broxbourne camp.

There was some concern before pushback with Grace and Olivia only arriving just in time for the warm-up, having stopped off for a quick toilet break first - though with the Bishops Stortford photographer lurking nearby, we can only assume they were simply making sure they looked their best.

From the whistle, Broxbourne came out strong. The defence cleared the ball confidently from the D, and some lovely play through the middle created a string of attacking chances. Several short corners were won and well executed by Cat, but the keeper managed to stop everything we threw at her.

Both teams were putting their all into it, and the match was end-to-end. About ten minutes before the break, our pressure finally paid off. Laura and Olivia battled tirelessly in front of goal until Laura, seeing Leanne down on the floor, slipped the ball across for Olivia to calmly slot home. 1–0 to Broxbourne!

After a positive half-time team talk, the Badgers came out determined to hold on. Stortford also stepped things up, putting our defence under serious pressure, but Emma pulled off some brilliant saves, and the back line stayed strong.

Cat’s disguised slap hit down the pitch caught Stortford off guard more than once, helping us relieve the pressure and build attacks of our own.

We had more goal-scoring opportunities and a few more short corners, but Leanne continued to keep us out. There was also a rather enthusiastic diving attempt from Hannah, who launched herself at a ball in the D with full commitment (and questionable balance). Hannah was having a lie down, the ball was heading for the top corner, celebrations were brewing…and then it was saved. Dramatic? Yes. Successful? No.

The final ten minutes were tense, with Broxbourne working tirelessly to stop Stortford finding an equaliser. When the final whistle went, there was a huge sigh of relief - and maybe a little satisfaction, especially after overhearing Stortford’s supporters before the match saying they were expecting to make it three home wins out of three. Sorry, not this time!

Player of the match went to Emma for her great saves.  Donkey (unfairly) went to Hannah - for “having a lie down and not even getting a goal out of it.” Oh, and also for pulling a muscle in the warm up…

Mens 1s vs Ipswich 1 - 4-1 loss
Goal scorer: Tom D-S
Assist: George
Player: Hal
Donkey: George & Ed

Match report pending.

Ladies 2s vs St Albans 3 - 2-2 draw
Goal scorers: Isobel & Emily R
Assists: Vic & Darcy
Player: Kim
Donkey: Baz
Cards: Hannah (green)

Broxbourne Ladies 2s vs St Albans 3s – Match Report (as narrated by Celebrity Traitors)

The sun shone down upon St Albans like it knew something dramatic was about to unfold. A perfect day for hockey… and potential treachery.

The Broxbourne Ladies 2s assembled slowly—some caught in the chaos of Tottenham match-day crowds, others trapped in the purgatory otherwise known as the M25 closure. But still, through adversity and questionable Google Maps diversions, the team prevailed and arrived together. United. Strong. Wondering whether anyone had remembered the jelly babies.

A changing room was selected with strategic precision. Showers. Enough for all. Because in this team, we care for each other’s hygiene, even when betrayal lurks around every corner.

We began boldly. Confidently. Only marginally disrupted when our captain Gemma elected to read out the starting line-up from the front of the pitch backwards, leaving several players briefly questioning whether they were secretly defenders, midfielders, or ornamental potted plants. But once everyone located their actual roles — the battle began.

The match was even. Tense. A well-balanced duel of athleticism, tactics, and occasional shouted encouragement that may or may not have been code for “Mark someone, ANYONE.”

St Albans, wily and opportunistic, managed to secure two goals. But not without being repeatedly thwarted, glared at, and spiritually dissuaded by the magnificent Kim. Our goalkeeper. Our wall. Our protector. Our hero. She was everywhere — diving, blocking, sliding — truly earning her Player of the Match crown, complete with metaphorical dramatic cloak swish. It was also quite touching that the defensive unit lovingly welcomed Kim as one of their own despite the minor detail of her being unable to rotate out ever.

Halftime came. And with it: speeches. Not just pep talks. Orations.
Millie, Az, and Gemma delivered words worthy of medieval war films and/or overly intense reality TV final confessionals. The result?

Broxbourne rose.

The defence line — Sue, Grace, Emily, Meg, and Baz — locked down the St Albans attack like the world’s most polite and determined fortress.
Midfield — Darcy, Hannah, Sarah, and Gemma — shifted and spun, transporting the ball like logistical masterminds.
And the attack — Gemma (- again, she’s everywhere), Vic, Isobel, and Jess — found pace, spark, and occasional interpretive sprinting.

Then came the goals.

First: a beautifully choreographed penalty corner — Emily, Gemma, and Darcy combining like a well-rehearsed dance trio, Emily finishing it off with a decisive tip that screamed “Yes, actually, we did practice this.”
Second: Isobel, cool as you like, slipped one in from open play — poetry, but with shin pads.

2-2.
A comeback. A statement. A point earned.

And just to keep the theatrical tension high — some final-minute umpiring shenanigans ensured everyone’s heart rate peaked at medically questionable levels.

But the whistle blew. And Broxbourne walked away proud.

Player of the Match: Kim – The Wall. The Shield. The One Who Saved Us.
Donkey of the Day: Baz – For leading a small sub-group of players on an unexpected walking tour of the wider St Albans region.

In conclusion…

No traitors among us.
Just commitment, chaos, camaraderie — and a much-deserved point.
Broxbourne Ladies 2s live to fight again.

Sunday 9th November

Home Fixtures

Womens O35s vs Stevenage O35s - 4-2 win
Goal scorers: Jess x2, Tor & Kirsty
Assists: Laura, Jess x2 & unknown

A blustery Sunday afternoon saw Broxbourne O35s take on a determined Stevenage side.

Last-minute injuries left the Badgers with a bare eleven, until super subs Tara Haddock and Tors Bacon heroically stepped in to save the day. Tara arrived with her own fan club in tow, oozing confidence, while Tors showed up a full hour early — although apparently the growing pile of M6 speeding tickets meant she couldn’t quite afford her match fees.

Despite the chaotic build-up, Broxbourne came flying out of the blocks. Within the first ten minutes they earned a penalty corner, and Kirsty Bernie was on hand at the back post to calmly slot home the opener. The home side doubled their lead shortly after — Jess Iszatt, showing ice-cold composure in the D, spun away from her defender and tucked the ball neatly into the bottom corner.

Stevenage, stung by the quickfire goals, began to find their rhythm and forced Broxbourne into a gritty midfield battle. Crucial interventions from Haddock kept the visitors at bay, ensuring the hosts went into halftime with their two-goal cushion intact.

The second half began at a pace that belied the players’ veteran status — you’d never know most had played another game that weekend. Stevenage threw everything forward, but in doing so left gaps at the back. A slick counterattack saw Wills thread a ball wide to Bowden, who delivered a pinpoint pass into the D for Iszatt to bag her brace.

Then came the moment that will surely live long in Broxbourne folklore. A harmless-looking ball drifted toward goal, and keeper Kim Hellery confidently called for her defenders to “leave it” — only to watch in horror as it trickled directly into the back of the net. Rumours quickly spread pitch-side of a potential transfer to Stevenage but Hellery declined comment.

Sensing weakness, Stevenage struck again minutes later to narrow the gap. Panic filled the Broxbourne captain as the possibility of penalty flicks loomed. But then in true Broxbourne fashion, centre-back-turned-striker Tor Chapman decided defending was overrated, embarking on a mazy, leg-stretching run up the left flank before sliding the ball neatly under the keeper to seal the win.

Mens O35s vs Chelmsford O35s - 4-0 loss

No match report.

Coming up this weekend...

Saturday 15th November

Home Fixtures
10am - Ladies 5s vs Royston 2
11.30am - Ladies 3s vs Shefford & Sandy 1
1pm - Ladies 2s vs Havering 1
2.30pm - Men’s 3s vs Bedford 4
4pm - Men’s 4s vs St Albans 9

Away Fixtures
1pm - Men’s 1s vs Old Loughts 2
1.30pm - Men’s 2s vs Potters Bar 1
2pm - Ladies 1s vs Cambridge Uni 2
2.30pm - Men’s 5s vs Berko & Hemel 6 Dev
4.15pm - Ladies 4s vs Harpenden 3

Club Social - Wacky Shirts night in the bar from 7pm!

Sunday 16th November

Home Fixtures
1.30pm - Women's O45s vs St Albans O45s

Away Fixtures
1.30pm - Mixed vs Harpenden