With a full team of 14, it was looking promising however, a broken toe and a back injury brought the roster to 12 in the late stages of Friday evening.

Fortunately, the return of Captain Hannah rallied the troops and the team were eager to get that much desired win.

Broxbourne started strong, with the raging wind and rain not deterring them and early in the first half, they took the lead with a goal from Ella, who returned to the threes in a bid to be the team’s tik tok queen.

Some great link up play from Laura and Hannah, led to the second goal which thrilled Captain Hannah and ensured that she at least avoided a donkey vote for once this season!

Letchworth were quick to retaliate and found themselves with a short corner, which they converted successfully to bring the score to 2-1.

Some fantastic battling from Sharon and Ella kept the mid strong and with some slick passing down the wings from Freya and Kirsty, Broxbourne won a short corner. With calls from Tara at the back and instructions being given, Laura hit the ball over the line with force to take the score at half time to 3-1.

The halftime chat was considerably more positive than the weeks before, particularly with the sweets also having been prepared prior to the chat to avoid upsetting members of the team. Lots of positives and a few tweaks were shared and the team continued the second half strong and held the majority of possession. Fantastic balls down the line from Rachel and Lauren fed the mid and attack and both Fixters were on fire sprinting down towards the attacking D.

Another goal from Laura, saw the opposition fired up and they managed to find another goal through a well struck shot into the bottom corner.

Freya, having recently returned from her epic 30th birthday celebrations (so long she’s nearly 31) showed her class, with a beautiful shot from near the baseline which crossed the line to take the score to 5-2.

Before the final goal was scored, it is important to celebrate some pure classic Ladies 3s moments which include:
-Tara telling the oppo to get round her they need to go wide,
-Freya’s shirt looking like she had been attacked by a lion
-Captain Hannah cheering the fact that for the first time this season she won a short corner, putting the ball on a foot (and Coach Matt wasn’t even there
-Lauren trying to call Tara off, when she is our 70 mins hero and notably, Lauren receiving a perfect switch ball from Kirsty and with acres of space passing it out of play for no apparent reason.

The last goal and champagne moment of the match was as a result of a run from Captain Hannah, who single handedly challenged the keeper and slotted the ball away off of the pads.

Player of the match went to Tara for her fantastic defence.

Donkey for Lauren for the eyelash brush and the pass off the side.

Ladies 2s vs Berkhamsted & Hemel 1 - 2-2 draw

Match report written by an unwilling donkey Jess who was threatened with bad press in The Daily Mail if she didn’t stick to the rules of donkey (written with some help from Vic, you’ll learn why).

It was a fairly early morning commute to the badger den for the Broxbourne ladies 2's fixture against Berko & Hemel's ladies 1's, as many of the team struggled to decide whether a skin was appropriate in the absence of Hannah - the resident weather pundit (Judas bhvr). A classic start for Lydia and the twins appearing late meant that bottom of the league's pre game team talk was reduced to chat from Brox Co-captain Vic suggesting we go as 'Getting Relegated' to the teams 'G' themed social later on that evening.

Despite the lack of inspiring motivational speech, the game began and broxbourne's energy and pace from the Boxall sisters, and Meg's & Millie's threading through the middle from the defensive 25 meant that berko & Hemel couldn't get a successful break and brox were in with the first chance of the game. The forwards put in the work, switching on the break with a cross from Jess (still returning from injury with no rest in the first half) and being rewarded with the first goal, Emily slotting it away from the P spot.

Broxbourne continued the pressure with some short corners, however in true ladies 2's fashion, were unable to convert these chances. The away team then managed to get a break through the middle and clinically put away an equaliser to make it 1/1. The badgers were not deterred and again with pace, the forwards were away again, Jess crossing it in, and Ella BA knowing exactly where it was gonna go put it away around the keeper.

It was at this point the main player, Jess Iszatt had to depart the team...

The second half saw Berko bringing the score line level to 2-2, but Brox did not give up, pushing at every chance to convert and take the lead once again. Vic tried to take a few player’s heads off with some dicey reverse hits and was asked to “reevaluate her playing style” (clearly the opposition were threatened by her epic disguise reverse skills). Unfortunately the score line remained at 2-2 however the ladies 2s were thrilled to come away from the fixture with a point against 3rd in the league in a game that on paper wasn’t likely to swing their way.

With a lack of defence Gemma was called back to the defensive line for the whole game which paid off for the team and earned her a deserved crown as player of the match! Fortunately Jess's offers of filling in as a defender were ignored as she won multiple short corners and gained both assists in open play to the goals scored, which kept Broxbourne in the game and earned them their much needed point. She was SO sorely missed in the second half of the game that the team decided to turn on her and vote her donkey as they felt like she had abandoned them in their time of need when actually she was never meant to play in the first place but decided to squeeze in a half hour of hockey to get us a much needed point.

Rumours are that captain Millie made a statement that Jess could have been a strong contender for player of the match if she’d have played the full game.

Mens 1s vs Upminster 1 - 4-3 win

Broxbourne hosted 2nd place Upminster on Saturday, in what midfielder Chris Hopson would describe as a potential 6 pointer clash at the top of the table. Broxbourne, were looking to extend their position at the top of the league, to allow the team to really pack on some guilt free pigs in blankets and pints of Guinness over the festive period. Broxbourne opened the game well, enjoying the majority of the possession, moving the ball around the pitch nicely, but failing to capitalise in the final third.

Upminster were able to win two short corners after a fast counter attack against the badgers. With the first flick being blocked by some brave number 1 running from the captain Phil Bryan, they were able to capitalise the second time round with a well-worked routine, slipping the ball left from the top of the D, and round the keeper. Upminster extended the lead after a controversial penalty flick was awarded against the South-African international Matt Menear, claiming it was one the best tackles he’s ever made. The Upminster player flicked the ball hard into the centre of the goal, and the Broxbourne goal keeper Ryan (who had asked not to be named) gracefully dived out the way of it (sorry Ryan). Leaving the home side 2-0 down going into half time.

Despite the challenging first half, broxbourne’s spirits remained high. However, two disallowed goals from short corners added an extra layer of adversity, with Mitch Chapman and Sam Groves showcasing their scoring prowess, even if not officially on the tally chart.

Broxbourne continued to play nice hockey, with the away side rarely able to make it out of their own half, and after a nice passage of play from Broxbourne, Sam Groves was able to convert. Albeit after trying his best to miss from 2 yards out, hitting the post with his initial shot, before finishing the rebound. Sam then scored the equaliser, deflecting a crisp reverse stick cross from Mitchell Chapman.

For the first time in the game Broxbourne went ahead, as Reggie Hopson managed to calmly slot a shot past the keeper, after picking up a bouncing ball in from Sam Groves on his reverse stick. Alas, the lead didn’t last long, Matt Menear attempted a cross field Ariel which fell short of his target and was collected by Upminster, who passed the ball up the pitch and neatly around the goalkeeper. Fortunately, the mastermind coach Panners had released the ‘fire blanket’ Josh Chapman at half time, relinquishing his Centre Back duties, allowing him to apply extra pressure up the pitch. Taking advantage of this newfound free-reign, he found himself in and amongst the goal keeper as Toby House was marauding through the centre of the pitch, with a surprising top speed for a young man having never ran outside of a hockey pitch. Josh demanded the ball in, and after a fizzed reverse stick pass from Toby found its way to him, the fire blanket deflected it past the Upminster goalkeeper with some electric hands. Silence spread around the badgers den when both umpires came together to discuss the legality of Broxbourne’s recent goal, a trend which was becoming quite popular in the second half. However, after some lengthy discussion between the two, they agreed that the goal should stand and Broxbourne had reclaimed the lead, which they were able to hold onto till the end of the game.

There was some murmuring by the press after the game, asking if the interim right black replacement for the notorious Gorgeous George would become a permanent move. The handsome, yet not so gorgeous Stan refused to stay for an interview after his man of the match performance, only noting it would an interesting move “if the money was right”.

Broxbourne men’s 1st team are now sitting pretty at the top of the league with 28 points. 6 points clear of second, with a game still in hand. Plans for the end of season social are underway with a rumoured £6000 budget after the majority of the team have failed to complete a mandatory 5k run each week.

Merry Xmas all from top of the league Broxbourne men’s 1st X1 xoxoxoxo

Mens 3s vs Hertford 3 - 2-1 loss

Match report pending.

Ladies 5s vs Berkhamsted & Hemel 4 - 4-1 loss

We were at home for a pre-Christmas friendly this week against Berkhamsted and Hemel. We welcomed the return of Daniela this week and, being a little short on availability were grateful for the support from Frankie and 2 of our junior players, Cliona and Tamsin, having their first senior run out.

With our ‘new-look’ team it took a while to find our feet and BHL4 managed to capitalise and put 3 across the line to take the score to 0-3.

Despite the half time score it was quite a close match in the second half, with Broxbourne managing to find more space and use the width of the pitch more.

We were more determined in the second half with good movement and ball skills from our young players in midfield who took advantage of the space. Special mention to Cliona who also won player of the match.

There was good communication and play across the back 4. Frankie was solid in the deep line defensive position but an uncharacteristic mis-control (resulting in being awarded ‘donkey of the day’) meant that a BHL4 player managed to steal the ball and, with a one on one with our keeper Hannah, took the score to 0-4.

Heads didn’t drop and midfield were still creating opportunities for the forwards. Dan was unfortunate with a number of strikes from the edge of the D just missing. But eventually the hard work paid off on our 3rd short when Dan struck the ball to the left post and Milly sent the ball into the goal to make the score 1-4 27 minutes into the second half.

Well done to everyone who played and we hope that Chloe’s finger heals quickly after it took the brunt of a swing and a miss from a BH L4 player. We hope to see our very promising juniors back again soon!

Away Fixtures

Mens 2s vs Bedford 4 - 5-1 win

Wafty (Joe) Wilkinson’s Moment of Madness

Having undergone an extensive re-brand over the summer, the formerly known ‘Angry 2’s’ were now a team underpinned by what can only be described as ‘Pillars of Positivity’ and arrived at the Bedford pitch confident they could make it 9 wins on the bounce if they stuck to their principles of play.

With a couple of players carrying injuries, and a further couple unavailable, the 2’s were slightly short on defenders, but Rich Mellor kindly stepped up to help out.

In typical fashion, it took about 10 mins to find our rhythm, but once we had settled, the 2’s set about dismantling the bedford press and won the first shorty of the game. With El Capitan Kav off the pitch, Browny made the call, Straight Strike please. A thunderous strike hit the backboard with venom more potent than that of a King Cobra. 1-0 to the boys, never in doubt. We were even more thrilled to see Brown’s promised over the top celebration, as he danced his way back to the Brox half. The bedford team looked stunned, and quite frankly a little scared. I would have been too if an oppo player had danced on me that hard after scoring. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Mr Brown appear on the next Season of Strictly with that flow, but I digress, back to the match.

Not long after the first goal, the 2’s won themselves another shorty, and with Kav still off the pitch, Browny stepped up to call the shots, asking for a Lance deflection, only to have a change of heart at the last minute, one Baller Flick please sir. Browny had been quoted saying ‘when Kav comes back on the pitch you probably won’t get one’ as the reason for the change in call but this is unconfirmed.

Baller had been poor up to this point. He had seen his pocket picked 3 times already and needed to wake up. This was the perfect opportunity to set the wheels in motion. Cranners quipped that the pressure was on, but what is pressure if not just the physical force exerted on an object… and right now Baller felt none.

He duly dispatched the short corner with a fine flick into the bottom left corner. Lets not kid ourselves here, this was not a Menear, Chapman or Fredericks rocket, but it was clean and put the 2’s very much in the driving seat. 2-0.

With the 2’s now dominating the proceedings, some slick 1-2 passing saw the marauding Cranners unleashed down the right flank. He cut inside the take the chasing defender out of game and released a hit from the top of the D. A deflection from a bedford defender caused the shot to loop into the air over the keeper and into the back of the net. 3-0 with Cranners most definitely claiming it.

In an attempt to help out the umpires, another example of our positivity pillars, some decision advice was misinterpreted as arguing, shocking really, and after a class first half performance where he had successfully mopped up much of the bedford attacking threat, Fresh saw himself take a 2 minute break.

With 10 men, the boys made a couple of tweaks to the formation with baller dropping back into midfield, and lance dropping into defence. A break out on the left flank saw baller receive the ball with 3 bedford defenders around him, 1 of whom chirped “he’s going nowhere, there’s 3 of us”.

Challenge accepted. With a burst of acceleration, baller made his way past the 3 defenders to push to 10 men of broxbourne up the pitch. The ever energetic Sully and metronome Brown provided support and the boys played some wonderful hockey to keep the ball in the bedford 23 until Fresh was back from his 2 minute suspension.

Half Time - 3-0 Brox

The halftime team talk was short and sweet. Keep it positive, maintain our composure (Not sure young Joe listened to this bit, more on that later) and push for more attacking outcomes.

With Bedford struggling to make any headway through the broxbourne press in the first few minutes of the second half, a misplaced pass found Captain Kav pick up the ball just inside the bedford half. A perfect trap, head up, and the captain released baller who on the right flank found himself staring down mr ‘going nowhere’. With a quick outside in weave, baller was past the defender, and drove towards the D. A new defender stepped up but fell foul of the same move as baller made his way into the D now staring down the onrushing gk. With the memory of the Potters Bar game looming large, where he had released a shot seemingly aiming for the moon, baller actually kept his composure for once and slotted the ball through the gk’s legs into the backboard. 4-0.

Midway through the second half, Midfield Metronome Alex Brown made a gut-busting 80 yard sprint to get a fine intercepting touch on a ball fired towards the broxbourne goal from the top of the D, and although this changed the flight of the ball, he had successfully reduced the pace of it moving towards the young broxbourne goalkeeper to that of a snail.

But alas, young Joseph, not happy with how one sided the affair had been so far, wanted to add a level of chaos to the game, as he ‘misjudged’ the bounce and we all watched the ball dribble freely under his wafty air kick into the goal. 4-1.

Such a blunder risked causing unrest in the team, but club veteran and current co-chairman Richard ‘Fresh’ Wilkinson (not to be confused with the aforementioned Joe ‘Wafty’ Wilkinson) was not going to let this stop the 2’s momentum.

In a true showing of team positivity, he humbly removed himself from the field of play with a mere look of confused disappointment, allowing an air of calm contemplation to take hold. Young Joe would have been reprimanded strongly in prior seasons for such a blunder, but this re-branded 2’s side settled for a laugh at Joe’s expense and an early confirmation of DOD (probably helped by the fact it was 4-1).

The boys didn’t let standards drop and maintained their control on the game despite conceding. Some chances came and went for both sides, but nothing too concrete until Brox made it 5-1. Controlled possession allowed the midfield to find space to fire a great ball into the bedford D. Kav stepped through the maze of bodies and deftly deflected the ball past the goalkeeper into the back of the net.

With Bedford’s hope of a comeback now well and truly gone, Broxbourne had another period with 10 men but once again remained stalwart in defence. The final whistle blew as the 2’s successfully collected another 3 points, and now sit 10 points clear at the top of the table. The boys put in a class team performance, where ignoring the obvious mistake, everybody played some great hockey and should be proud of the 10 wins accumulated in the first half of the season.

Away wins at Bedford are not commonplace for the 2’s, so it was nice come away from the trip in high spirits. The boys will now recharge over the festive period ready for the title charge next year!

Merry Christmas to all!

Ladies 4s vs Letchworth 4 - 6-1 win

The ladies 4s took a rainy drive over to Letchworth for their lunchtime match, praying for some sunshine and no injuries given there were only 11 players!

The changing rooms brought all the drama. We had a team full of colds, late arrivals, some very funny comments (Roisin and Eli!) and donkey getting awarded immediately to Sam for forgetting her shin pads and instead opting for double socks.

By the time everyone actually made it to pitch, the rain had stopped - hurrah. The first half started off strong with a strike from centre forward Frankie putting the ball straight to the backboard. The forward and half line continued to press, not letting the ball come out of the attacking half for more than a few strides. Strike after strike was made by Alice, Eli, Roisin, Frankie and Sam until some strong play down the right with Marina and Eli led to another strong strike from Frankie leaving our first half 2-0 up.

A few haribo later and the sugar fuels another energetic spell with the team dominating in the attacking D, leading to a hit across from Roisin and a tap in from Sam to bring the score to 3-0. After much persuasion, Alice takes a run all the way and coverts it without breaking a sweat. Letchworth fight back testing Lorraine, Jane and Lisa on the back line but strong channeling and firm tackling don’t give them a chance. A few taps towards Emma, making her debut back in goal, keep her a little warm but nothing is getting past! A hit from Lisa out to Marina and over to Sam gives space for a run down the pitch. A strong push in the D defies odds and goes straight to the backboard. This is quickly followed by lovely sharp reverse goal by Alice. The magical 11 keep fighting but letchworth make a last minute break and tap a corner ball in the back of the goal. A few more minutes and a few more shots later, the game ends 6-1. Play of the match went to Alice for her goals and running lots, also mentioned was Frankie, Sam, and the collective whole team!

Ladies 1s vs Norwich City 1 - 5-0 loss

The Badgers returned to competitive play this weekend after a two week hiatus as an unexpected cold front continued to render the pitch unplayable.

With the match status confirmed by team meteorologist Hannah Baker, the team decided to proactively start planning their travel strategy, with Gemma Wilkinson stepping back into roll of transport co-ordinator for the 100+ mile away trip to Norwich City. After a quick reflection of last years travel disaster, which saw Alice Brown, Ellie Welsh and Becky Scarrott arrive just minutes before push back, there seemed hesitation by some of the team to travel with Brown. Captain Welsh decided she could not risk a late arrival time, and discretely directed Wilkinson to assign GK Kim Hellery and Baker to the car to bring some stability to Brown’s time management, who were all too happy to avoid a Hoddeson Hotty car pool with learner driver Lisa Banahan. However, concerns were sharply brought to life when ten minutes before meet time Baker had to send confirmation that their car would be 30mins delayed after Brown accidentally selected “avoid major roads” on the satnav…

With the team finally in full attendance, they took to the pitch for a warm up where DJ Nads Wheadon accidentally selected her personal December playlist, with Christmas songs from Cliff Richard and Wham! Luckily, the management team of Scarrott and Lucy “Bob” Hoskins made it to the sideline just in time to turn down the questionable inclusion of Bill Crosby’s “White Christmas”. Missing management member Ollie Wilkinson was not present for any part of the game, and it was confirmed in the post match conference that he had taken the opportunity to use the time alone to prep for his audition for Love Island Juniors 2024 by practising chat up lines in the clubhouse.

As the game commenced it was a tight first quarter with both teams having a flurry of opportunities in their respective attacking 25s. However, it was Norwich City who got onto the scoreline first after counter attacking a miss-calculated interception by Brown. They then doubled their score shortly after with a converted flick, with another mishap by Brown saw her foot the ball on the line. Despite some more opportunities from the Badgers with sharp movement in the midfield from Laura Wills and Kay Tart, and excellent pressing from the forward line of Wilkinson, Welsh, Wheadon and Kelly Jennings, the home team were able to convert one further goal to bring the score to 3-0 at half time.

The second half saw the Badgers start brightly, with some slick ball carrying from Emma Wilkins, including a reverse stick volley on goal which the home team were lucky not to concede. However, the bad luck seemed set to stay with Broxbourne as a series of unfortunate events saw Norwich City awarded another corner which they successfully converted, and a final goal to bring the game 5-0 in the dying minutes of the match. After a gut wrenching loss the Badgers attempted to regroup at teas, where freshly baked goods were supplied to lift the mood. Unfortunately, the moment turned quickly into cupcake roulette as the Badgers learned the gluten free option were actually icing covered dust, and team nutritionist Basil Sparrey was quick to avoid the option by claiming she was allergic to all dairy.

As the Badgers returned back to Hertfordshire they await another four weeks before getting back into competitive play as a team. Captain Welsh is hoping the time will allow the team to regain some rapport with each other after a series of text messages from various team players were leaked by her this week. In an effort dubbed “Badgeratha Christie” the captain has refrained from releasing all messages but has confirmed that any backstabbing comments will no longer be accepted within the Badger community. The media team will release an update when we return in 2024, until then, have a very Badger Christmas xx

Mens 4s vs Shefford & Sandy 4 - 3-0 loss

Following a 2 week break, the 4’s were hoping to start positively. Most of the squad met at the club, before setting off for the away fixture.

We were already missing the ever influential voice and leadership of Andy Bourke. There were also last minute absentees through illness ( one of which was self inflicted )
The slightly depleted team was lead by the experienced Andy Harris, who rallied the lads.
It was a hard fought game, with some positive moments.

Unfortunately we were unable to find a goal, but instead conceded 3, including a first class own goal from Oakley.

The experience of the opposition was the main difference in the end.

We go again next week for the last game of 2023.

The team with its blend of experience, youngsters and new players showed guts and did not give up.

Sunday 10th December
Home Cup Fixtures

Ladies O45s vs Berkhamsted & Hemel - 3-2 loss

The Broxbourne o45 team hosted Berko’s ‘Maidens of Mayhem’ in their second game of the cup at the Badgerden.

Following a morning of heavy rain, the team was lucky to find a window of light drizzle lifting to some rays of sunshine for the game.

The Maidens made a strong start, putting the Vintage Badgers under pressure and scoring 2 in the first half.

In the second half the Badgers put together 2 beautifully worked goals, finished by Danine Irwin and Jane Fixter. The Maidens continued to be under strong pressure, with the game held at 2-2 for much of the second half, until the opposition broke away and with an overload in the D, scored in the dying minutes of the game to win 3-2 to secure their game in the next round.
Players of the match went to Tara Haddock and Dossy Moore, with recognition that it was a great team effort and a well enjoyed game.

Coming up next weekend...

Saturday 16th December

Home Fixtures
12pm - Ladies 2s vs Winchmore Hill and Enfield 1 (cup game)

Away Fixtures
12pm - Ladies 3s vs Bishop's Stortford 5
1:30pm - Mens 4s vs Harpenden 4