CANTERBURY TAILS UP to deny Badgers top spot

By Lisa Banahan

Broxbourne were defeated on Saturday by their closest rivals in the East Prem league table, Canterbury Ladies 2s. The travelling support turned out for this top of the table clash in their droves; some familiar, welcome faces dotted amongst a largely rowdy rabble, with a certain hooligan element attempting to disguise themselves as a respectable gentleman in a Broxbourne tie.

Broxbourne made an excellent start to the first half, with Emily Wilkins, Laura Wills and Alice Brown servicing the Badgers’ industrious forward line. Kerri Marshall left the Canterbury defence in her wake a number of times, and earned the Badgers a string of short corners, which were alas unconverted. Canterbury’s long direct ball tactics were not a surprise to the Badgers, with Alice Brown providing Coach Matt McDonnell with a detailed synopsis of each opposition player, having played with the Kent side for a number of years. As McDonnell observed Canterbury smothering each and every one of the Broxbourne corners, suspicion entered his mind , that Brown had been working as a double agent and was feeding Canterbury a detailed description of the top secret Broxbourne short corner routine. Rumours that Brown had been forced to sell her East London penthouse to move to a box room in Dalston ,following a period of severe financial hardship, only contributed to McDonnell’s suspicions of a proverbial Brown envelope being in play. However, her pitch performance was looking unquestionable and with veteran striker Gemma Wilkinson ruled out due to Bingo commitments, McDonnell stuck with his centre midfielder for the full 70 minutes.

The Badgers sustained a period of attack late in the first half, with Canterbury's direct tactics paying off and earning them a short corner. After an attempted switch right, a fluffed hit resulted in keeper Green logging, but the ball popped up favourably on the right post for the Canterbury striker who slotted it over the line. Green has had a busy week, narrowly passing her 2nd driving test, although with 12 minor infringements. The 17 year old has openly criticised her mother and team manager Georgina Green for poor parking angles in the past, and has decided that she wants to distance herself from such selfish parking strategies going forward in her career.

Broxbourne immediately replied with a promising attacking spell, with interceptions from 16s by Lucy Hoskins and Emily Wilkins resulting in circle penetrations, but to no reward. Star centre back Becky Watkins was then binned by the umpire for 5 minutes for a stick tackle on the half way line, which looked a harsh punishment from the Badger dugout. The centre back has hit the headlines in the past for her “Chavvy language" but was on her best behaviour and took her seat quietly on the sidelines. The Badgers remained on the offensive with 30 seconds left on the clock in the first half.

Matt McDonnell’s message at half time was one of positivity and inspired the team to a “Nothing to lose “ attitude in the second half. The side changed their formation to 3 at the back, resulting in a number of short corners and chances from open play that went unconverted. The tactic obviously had it’s drawbacks, and Tor Stacey produced some brilliant defending when she found herself alone in the D with 2 Canterbury strikers late in the second half. Stacey produced her infamous Gadget arm to half stifle the shot towards Green in goal, which was efficiently cleared by the now fully licenced keeper. Stacey’s long term liaison with Top Gun stunt man Ryan Franks has been under the microscope this week after allegations that Franks was planning a wedding in December. When asked to comment on her much anticipated nuptuals she appeared to know nothing about them, and was more concerned with asking the reporter to help her open the bonnet of her car. It is suspected that Stacey wishes to put the wedding plans on the long finger for now.

A second yellow card then became the nail in the coffin for the visitors, and frustration was evident from Broxbourne bench when it appeared that the there was some confusion over the identify of the binned player. Brown confirmed her allegiance to the Badgers , taking the hit for an alleged 5 yard offense, having to endure watching the dying moments of the game from the sidelines.

Although disappointed after the game, the Badgers’ spirits were lifted by Kerri Marshall who provided everyone on the team with some of her specially formulated mint shower gel, proven to radically speed up muscle recovery. Defender Lisa Banahan, recently dropped by sponsors Molten Brown due her incessant diving, has controversially slammed the London based company claiming that Marshall's formula was “10 times better than anything Molten Brown had ever produced”. Banahan is incidentally the only player in the East Prem division to share the same initials as her hockey position.

The Badgers return to Fortress Badger Field on Saturday to defend their undefeated home record against Cambridge City 2s. They will be looking to defender Claire Cat Cattermole to provide them with all the tactical info from her ex-club, for this eagerly awaited tie.