Badgers return to Badgerfield

Player news:
Some new faces donned the blue and pink, all contributing to
increasing the average height and decreasing the average age of the
side. Youngster Kathryn Rollins made her goal scoring debut up front
while Becky Ellis returns to her hockey roots from Uni having
completed her studies in Bovine Science. Emily Boxall joins her sister
Meg at Broxbourne this season, bringing her hockey skills but also her
outstanding tan to rival her sister for the side's most tanned badger.
Amongst the new faces, shone some old war horses with striker
Gemma Wilkinson entering her 30th season for the club having started
at age 10. Cat Cattermole returns to the pitch having been married over
lockdown, and is hoping to keep up team standards of losing her
wedding ring at hockey within one season of marriage.
Pip Evans has confirmed rumours that she will take a year out from her
hockey career, perusing her long term dream of rally car driving. The
centre back first felt the need for speed following a sharp acceleration
out of the carpark at Wimbledon after a heavy defeat last season, and
enjoys rally cars in particular due to the solo nature of the drive these
vehicles offer.
Management news:
Newly appointed coach Mark Pannell has made a popular start to the
season with the ladies 1s mainly due to a very impressive match day
white board, trumping previous coach Sam Marchant's board by at
least 30 square centimetres.
The captaincy has been passed to the ex-Birmingham university
partnership of Becky Scarrot and Alice Brown; a controversial sideways
move from Brown parting ways with the highly successful Badger media
team. Brown played no small role in increasing podcast listenership
from 3 to 4 people per annum, and the club publically attributes the
nomination for “Sports podcast of the year" as testament to her role
supporting podcast star Lisa Banahan in her rise to fame on the hockey
media scene. Luckily for the club Banahan will continue as Director of
Media operations, with 1
st team bench warmer Emily Wilkins stepping
into the media catering support role. Wilkins had been previously
criticised for over frothing milk in a macchiato but Banahan has backed
her for the role, insisting that her lack of skill on the pitch is no
reflection on her coffee making ability.
Striker Lucy “Bob" Hoskins has also taken on a new role this season for
the Badgers, monitoring pitch time and taking over warmup duties
from disgraced warmup leader and ex captain Laura Wills. Following
the overwhelmingly successful “#willsyforwarmup" campaign leading to
her appointment, the midfielder was slammed by teammate Kerri “the
covid marshall" Marshall for insufficient arm involvement, resulting in
Marshall straining a ligament when applying hand sanitizer. This recent
injury is a blow to Marshall's preseason training, having revealed in a
recent interview with Athletics Weekly the impressive stats on her
latest 11 mile run from her apartment to Hertford East station.
Match news:
The Badgers had a dismal start to the game, conceding 3 goals within
10 minutes. However, this kick started the Badgers trademark
comeback who started to string passes together with more confidence.
A nice passage of play up the right hand side involving Charlotte Skip
lead to a strike on goal and the rebound was tidily put away courtesy of
the quick reactions of Kathryn Rollins , making the scoresheet on her
debut.
Improved links between midfield and defense continued to pile the
pressure on the St Albans back four. Local lockdown saw pub veterans
Tor Stacey and Alice Brown attend their first hangover free league
game in three seasons, and both contributed to attacking passages of
play through the right hand side. Kay Finch absent from pre season
friendlies as she tours the UK to promote Fiancé's new vodka range
Tarts4Hearts was welcomed back to the side and created opportunities
down the left hand side.
Em Wilkins chose her time to go “red head" wisely just before half
time, when she carved nicely through two defenders into the D and a
sweet reverse strike at goal put the Badgers back in the game. Wilkins
had been scouted by David B at GB cycling during lockdown, but after
extensive physiological testing her numbers did not lie in the normal
range, prohibiting her from competing internationally. Wilkins
commented that she had never realised a restriction on the number of
chins permitted to cycle at the elite level.
The Badgers earned a number of short corners just before half time,
courtesy of Gemma Wilkinson's outstanding stick blocking and some
swift thinking by Emily Boxall to take a quick free outside the D.
Unfortunately the corners did not yield a result for the Badgers. They
continued to look dangerous from open play and Gemma Wilkinson
narrowly put a cracker of a shot above the crossbar just before half
time.
The second half saw the Badgers dominate but unable to score, again
earning a number of unconverted short corners. The best chance came
when a slip left to Becky Scarrot hit the post and deflected off ex Player
of the season Lisa Banahan's foot, earning her the prestigious donkey
award. The player is struggling to find form this season with sponsors
Molton Brown pulling out of their 5 year contract with shower facilities
unavailable this season. The player has hinted at a new deal with Fairy
Liquid at her latest press conference.
Issy Gardner made some crucial saves throughout the game to prevent
St Albans from increasing the deficit. Coach Panners made a starring
cameo onto the pitch, showing his pace at getting the ball quickly onto
the sideline, but the Badgers did not manage to get the equalizer in the
end and the score remained 3-2.
Fan news: Superfan Sam Gates returned to the sidelines much to the
relief of the Badgers who hadn’t seen him for the whole of lockdown
Next Week: The Badgers travel to Harleston to hopefully get their
points tally started.