Wapped by wapping

Broxbourne 1st XI took a break from the M11 this past weekend as they made the familiar trip to Lea Valley, the flag ship of UK hockey venues, to take on Wapping 1st XI. It was a week of selection turmoil for the Badgers, after learning that left back Dr Banahan P.POTS*, goal keeper Izzie Gardener and centre back Claire “Cat” Cattermole had all been handed isolation warnings. Luckily youngster Gardiner was given the all clear to play, and celebrated hard on the Friday night with a 2-4-1 cocktail party held by Momager Sarah. However, Cattermole and Banahan were forced to spend the weekend indoors for continued isolation, dismissing rumours at a socially distant press conference that they were staging a coup after being relegated from the Group A warm up.
With the backline open to auditions the Badgers welcomed some hot new talent to the scene. First up Charlotte Skipp, who is rumoured to feature on her own “All or Nothing” series on Amazon Prime this season after her brother’s appearance on the sidelines last week. Next up saw debutant Emily Rollins at right back, after a storming performance during Tuesday training against the Men’s 3s. The two youngsters joined Becky “Bench” Scarrott and Tor Stacey, who confirmed she was keeping strict to Government guidelines and was a home in bed by 8.30pm with a G&T on her bedside.
This weekend saw the team commemorate the anniversary of Kerri Marshall’s housewarming, with the right winger celebrating two years in her new pad this weekend. Pop World have confirmed that they will be applying their usual prioritisation of house warming celebrations over birthdays once the COVID restrictions on hospitality have been lifted.
Elsewhere, Coach Panners was absent this weekend as he and 2019/2020 “best defender in the league” Pip Evans welcomed their daughter Hattie last Tuesday. True to her mother, Hattie was significantly late to the party, and failed to apologise for her tardiness with a trade mark “Waaa”. The couple are yet to confirm if they were waiting to greet the team until social media relations between them and midfielder Kay Finch are resolved.
Alas with 13 players, and ~15 “parents” in the supporter zone, Broxbourne set out with a strong first 5 minutes of the game retaining possession under significant pressure from the home side. As both sides battled out in the middle of the pitch a breakthrough from Wapping saw the Badgers concede the first goal, followed quickly by a second after an ambiguous short corner decision. Broxbourne regained momentum and pressed hard before half time but were unable to convert before the break. Despite several yellow cards to the opposition in the second half, the Badgers were not able to capitalise and went down a further goal. A corner on the final whistle sealed the deal for Wapping who claim their first three points of the season and leave Broxbourne to go back to the drawing board this week at training.
A riled-up Gardiner saw her being awarded her first Donkey, as it seemed the combination of her 2-4-1 hangover and her new found love of the law led to some strong words to about the oppositions illegal short corner huddles. Skipp took home the prestigious Player award after her stellar debut at left back.
The Badgers take on old rivals Bishop Stortford this weekend for their second home game of the season where they look to secure their first points, and crucially, their first home win of the 2020 calendar.