Cogdell Goes Missing

(Disclaimer – The following report contains real people but events may have been altered for your reading pleasure. Please also note no animals were harmed in the making of this report)

Another glorious autumnal early afternoon push back at Badger field for the ‘Angry Badgers’ began with a change to the norm seeing over half the team arrive early. This was to ensure a quick white board session could take place to reinforce the tactical epiphany experienced in the previous week’s second half performance. Surprisingly this did not descend to its usual juvenile level with not even a single representation of a phallus. This was even more astonishing considering that the team patriarch, Adrian Crawley, was not present due to umpiring duties. As a quick aside, for reasons still unexplained, Adrian had unsuccessfully tried to hide his true identity whilst umpiring the Men’s 4s by donning a suspect illuminous orange sweater and some disturbing safety spectacles (probably liberated from his previous employers laboratory).

Broxbourne were set up expecting a tough game even though the visitors had experienced mixed results so far this season. New signing and Welsh international Gavin Elliott making his Badgers debut at preferred left back meant a versatile Richard Wilkinson playing a more central role in defence. A back five with over 175 years’ experience once again offered the perfect platform for the youthful element of the team to ‘do their thing’ in the opponents 23. The first half was well controlled by the home team who looked comfortable in possession and executed the press to great success but ultimately chances were limited by an organised Blueharts defence. With 5 minutes left until half time the deadlock was broken, some fine passing and movement lead to Chris Green’s first goal of the game.

This week’s Half-time show was in stark contrast to last’s with only positives to air and minor improvements to focus on. In fact the whole game was played out contrary to their recently self-proclaimed moniker of ‘The Angry Twos’.

The second half was a testament to Broxbourne’s dedication to their game plan of a high intensity offensive press. The unrelenting hunting and harassing from the front five proved too much the visitors and a steady flow of goals punctuated the rest of the game. Alex O’Sullivan and Lewis Green grabbing one each. Stan Mason’s ‘tekkers’ earnt him a brace despite his uncanny knack of finding a flat stick with alarming regularity and Chris Green scored an additional two to complete his hat-trick. However Chris Green’s prolonged enthusiasm and deserved reward was not the biggest surprise of the day that was left to veteran full back Julian Cogdell. Who, looking to extend his rich vein of form, was presented with a guilt edge chance from another well worked set piece but this time he fluffed his lines from no more than a yard. Our sources say that the miss has destroyed Cogdell’s fragile character and he has subsequently left the country on a journey to ‘find himself’.

Next an interclub smash ‘em up as the 3’s host the 2’s, 12pm push back at Badger Field

MoM – Chris Green, Hat-trick and even managed to break into a sweat.

DoD – Adrian Crawley, wearing some trendy bins for umpiring and some truly terrible ‘overhead’ attempts & Daniel Podmore, failing to contribute to the game.